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Review Requests: ON
333 Public Reviews Given
339 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Reviews include an overview, what I like, suggestions for improvement, positive closing ** Image ID #157136 Unavailable **
I'm good at...
I am good at emphasizing good things in addition to at least one suggestion. I am honored to do reviews on request. 2023 Quill Finalist.
Favorite Genres
Biography, Historical Fiction.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark because I am not fond of voluntarily being scared.
I will not review...
I will review anything.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Kevin,

I read your lyrics which I found on the Newsfeed. I had some thoughts which I will share. This is just one person's opinion and I hope it will be helpful.

Overall impression: It looked like a pretty impressive song. That proved to be true when I was reading it. The story was full and I was engaged in it. The title alone hooked me, then reading the first line that had Sunday identified as the "Sabbath day" was a great start. Your verbs, "they beat me the bartender," "three shots rang out," "reigned in his horse," and other kept the action going and the story moving on.

With the whole item flawless mechanically, that added to the pleasure reading. The only thing I might ask if you could go back for us and make the font bigger. The default font here is almost too small for me to see. Your new fan, I'll admit, is a young seventy five years old. Time permitting I will be back to read more and definitely will listen to your new album.

Write on!
tracker

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2
2
Review of Ocean Fling  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello MJones,

Welcome to WDC! It is a pleasure to have you and even better to read your poem "Ocean Fling" which I found listed in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter. I have a few thoughts to share with you with the caveat these are the opinions of one person. Take what resonates with you.

Overall impression: Superb! Fabulous! I was so blown away with the cover art and picture also put in the body of your post. It showed a visual of what the story is about. And, the story was written with such glorious rhyme. I loved every word and was left wanting more. A writer could not ask for more that that. I appreciated the flawless mechanics. Nothing was there to spoil the experience.

Kudos to you for your poem. I liked it tremendously. When you get settled in, there are poetry groups you may want to join. I will put one link at the bottom of this review for you. I can't wait to read more!

Write on!
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3
3
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello icracra,

Welcome to WDC. Glad to have you join our community. I noticed your lyrics to the famous Supremes' song on the Noticing Newbies page. A fan, I came over to check it out. I am reviewing your entry with some thoughts I had. I hope they are helpful to you.

Overall impression: The first thing I notice when going to do a review is the way the poem looks on the page. Your looks terrific. It already had me engaged. You followed the rhythm and beat to the song superbly. It sent a very clear message "to him who shan't be named."

Congratulations on a five-star worthy poem for your first time out. I was impressed with how it matched the original lyrics. I look forward to future writing. If you need any assistance don't hesitate to email me at tracker1948.

Write on!
tracker

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4
4
Review of Take A Breath  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Louis,

I saw your link to your poem "Take A Breath" and after reading it, I am now reviewing it for you. I have some thoughts which are solely my opinions which I hope are useful to you.

Overall impression: Your poem has a super rhyming pattern that gives it a pleasing rhythm. It takes good planning to write and rhyme with a short number of syllables. All these parts of your poem were excellent.

I like the repetition of "take a breath" followed by different actions. It had me engaged. Love, tolerance, and faith do make for successful life events. There are no mechanical errors which I appreciate for an enjoyable unimpeded reading.

Bravo on a piece that I see as a huge help for anyone needing encouragement. I liked your choice of genres. I hope it comes up in read & review so you get even more feedback. I think it is a wonderful poem. I would imagine there will be a contest this would fit into which I would pick as number one. Great job! I am thankful for you posting the link today.

Write on!
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5
5
Review of Unanchored.  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Scarlett,

Thanks for the heads up re: "Unanchored" which I have read and am writing a review. These are the thoughts of just one person. I hope they are useful to you.

Overall impression: Your description of the story prepared me for something significant involving animal, emotional, death. Selecting genres is two fold. It indicates to the reader generally what the story is about. It is used by readers to choose what they like to read, ie: about animals. The story itself is around a traumatic life event which is more poignant as this is still new and the wound is fresh and raw. The details of the premonition and the passing was palpable.

The technique and content are mechanically flawless. Your passion for Gracie's significance was personal and I felt privileged to read how the passing happened. Your writing is beautiful, well organized, and moving. All attributes of a great writer which I know you are. My sympathy goes out to you as you grieve the loss of your best friend. Thanks for telling your story.

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6
6
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Kiya,

I visited your portfolio today amazed at all the beautiful signatures in your collection. I am reviewing your story "a Dream defered." I will give you my thoughts which are just one person's opinion. I hope they are helpful. Take what you like.

Overall impression: The way you wrote the itinerary for a day in prison was astonishing. Then later, the details you shared were gut-wrenching. How you went through such indignation is awful. Your writing is superb. Flawless mechanically, and flowed so well that even though the experience was terrible, you gave the reader time to process what happened.

I appreciated your frankness. I saw a glimpse of how the imprisonment affected your family, boss, and friends. If I were included, I would have felt very guilty if I had not helped beforehand. But, as you said, there was a routine of checking in established and you were still working on getting the citizenship papers. The outcome was unexpected.

At first, I did not know how to review such a stark real-life experience that is moving. Your closing words about the human spirit will stay with me, as it is true. I see your story was awarded a Quill. Well deserved. I plan to return to read more as time permits. Thank you again for writing about what happened to you.

Write on!
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7
7
Review of Raising Rabbits  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I was hanging out in your portfolio looking at your blog, looked at your short stories, and I am glad I did. I am reviewing "Raising Rabbits" and I am chuckling as I proceed.

Overall impression: The best part was the description advising this was totally dialogue. That prepared me for the piece. The personalities of your characters came out loud and clear. I was left wanting more because I was totally engaged.

I was surprised one genre was not comedy. Now that the contest is over, could you go back in and change contest entry to comedy? I found nothing awry mechanically. Nary a period out of place. Great job and a great piece that, for a few moments, I forgot my cares and woes. You are a terrific writer of all genres. Watching for your next piece!

Write on!
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8
8
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Troyizen,
I found this chapter 031 The Underground Mansion in Read & Review. I have a few thoughts which I hope you find useful.

Overall the chapter described the mansion with a lot of detail. The vastness was clear. You have a good balance between narrative and dialogue. The characters were recognizable from one another having been established in prior chapters.

I found the descriptions tedious. You were telling everything; nothing was left to the imagination. There is one correction in a sentence which was a question and needs a question mark.

I was pleased to read this chapter of your story. Good luck with the rest.
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9
9
Review of Miami Driving  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello KindSideCastle,

I noticed you checked on one of my newsfeed posts. I like to meet and review people I have not before. I looked in your portfolio to find a piece not reviewed. There is one, "Miami Driving." I have a few thoughts to share with you hoping you will find them useful.

Overall impression: This short piece has so much awesome music in it. I like personal stories, and yours showed us what you like and how you recorded it to play on car trips. Your first sentence, that you were showing your age, engaged me. Right away I wanted to know what age. You answered that which gave the reader a point of reference.

My favorite line was the parenthetical "A nod to the TV series Miami Vice." You include a great many readers who are familiar with the show and/or the artists you listed. I did not notice any mechanical errors. With that and all the elements of a short story, "Miami Driving" was fun to read. You have many things to read in your portfolio which is why I want to return as time permits. Thanks for talking about

I stopped to play the Cutting Crew tune, which I am very familiar with. That helped me enjoy the story you shared. Music on video games is catchy making the experience more personal and fun. You told the story succinctly with enough information to make it a solid read. Nice job! I see other pieces that look inviting. I will come back at another point, time permitting. Nice to meet you!

Write on!
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10
10
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello turtlemoon-dohi,

Congratulations on your 18th WDC Anniversary. In honor of your anniversary I am reviewing "Fame and Fortune Missed" and hope the thoughts I share will be useful to you.

Overall impression: I immediately engaged with you being a teacher. It was my original goal. Your poem is presented with an interesting pattern after the first five lines. The free verse is ideal to tell your story. I felt your regret about not having written a book with all the fodder available from your first hand experiences. I liked your story very much.

I would suggest, for ease of reading for your audience, you double space the piece with possibly a larger font size. I did not detect any spelling or grammar issues. Nice job!

Congratulations both on the story and your anniversary. Your piece shows you are a terrific storyteller. Thanks for writing it.

Write on!
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11
11
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
on share for SuperPowers


Hello Richard,

Welcome to Super Power Reviewers Group. The focus on reviewing is rewarding. I noticed you have completed 140 reviews in the 5 months you have been with WDC. That is excellent. I am honored to review your story "The Challenge of a Child Learning" with some thoughts that are solely mine. I hope they will be useful to you.

Overall impression: The first two short sentences are critical to the story. They engaged me. I smiled at how Benny took everything literally and challenged his teachers. His character was well developed using dialogue with his friends to bring out his personality. You easily tell a story. I felt like I was sitting across from you and you were telling me Benny's story. That is a gift you give to your readers. Thank you for that!

There is editing to do. Two examples are these: Brandy said,” Sure you will?” The quotation marks should be right before the word sure. This made an extra space. The second is with Teachers feared my desire... Your story is written in the second person. In this sentence, you use my which would be okay in a quote that he said my. It infers that Benny is actually you?

I thought Benny was quite clever and brave to test the teachers as he did. If he is you personally, I applaud you. I would not even think that there was another way to think when a teacher said something like a minimum of 30 pages.

Thanks for writing this unique story. The status of his brother was sad.

Write on!
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12
12
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
on share for SuperPowers


Hi Marvelous Friend,

Your essay, "What I Didn't Know About Butterflies," was listed in the Super Power Reviewers Group review raid today. I did not know much about them either except they are beautiful.

Overall Impression: I can't emphasize or sing your praises enough for making the font extra large. Your paragraphs are also appreciated because they are just the right length for a reader to absorb before moving on to the next one. The most fascinating fact is about being cold-blooded and not being able to fly until they warmed up.

There is one of your butterflies that was spelled butterfly's needs to be butterflies. Here it is: Butterfly’s however.... It did not take away from your rating which is a solid 5 stars from me.

I thoroughly enjoyed your essay because it was well organized with the information presented in different words so it did not sound repetitive. Great job.

Write on!
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13
13
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
on share for SuperPowers
Hi Beholden,

I just read Paddy McGinty's Ghost. Once again you did not disappoint. But, wait! I am getting ahead of myself.

Overall impression: I looked briefly at the genres and descriptions, all of which led me to believe this was going to be a happy ghost story. The generous spacing and large font size made me jump for joy. It is such a pleasure to be able to read easily. I liked everything about the presentation. The story? It is outstanding.

I admired the way you were able to write as if it were Irishmen speaking. It gave the story a special rhythm. I almost felt like I was in a boat being lulled by its repeated motion back and forth. The main character was developed as he spoke about his money. The other chaps engaged in a bit of conversation that helped them understand how they viewed McGinty's unexpected good fortune.

There is one missing comma which is an easy fix. It is here: “I’ll be honest with you, Liam” said Paddy. The comma is needed after Liam.

I laughed until I got to the closing. I should have guessed there would be a ghost called Paddy, but did not. You tell a whale of a tale. I am sure to recommend it. Keep the great writing coming.

Write on!
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14
14
Review of Equinox  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
on share for SuperPowers

Hi PiriPica,

I found your poem suggested in the Super Reviewers Group raid today. "Equinox" is a short eight lines, but long on emotion.

Overall impression: The equinox can be an emotional time, so I liked your genre notes of emotional, nature, and health. The two stanzas of different rhyming schemes are alive with rhythm. I liked the first two lines with the rhyming "feeling" and "Spring" followed by reeling which is a great word. All of your words were carefully picked to move your poem as if a short story in 42 words.

Bravo for this masterpiece. It is flawless mechanically. The way it is centered on the page is visually pleasing. The spacing also made it easy to read. I am so glad your poem was included. It touched me as I can relate to the darkness before the light.

Write on!
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15
15
Review of Nautical Twilight  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave,

"Nautical Twilight" is a beautiful poem. Thank you for taking me out for a ride on the sea of life. I related to the entirety, for example, I am awaiting cataract surgery. I am a pianist and admirer of classical music so Beethoven's Fifth resonated with me.

That aside, the sensual imagery and energy took me away to another place altogether. A restful place, a respite of sorts. I felt even though aging has positive parts and challenges the sun will come out tomorrow with endless possibilities. I would sum up the poem as one soul-southing experience. I am glad you shared it. May I add that aesthetically speaking, centering it and using a unique font style solidified the serene feeling I have. You made my day!

tracker

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16
16
Review of Nothing At All  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello, TheNoMonster,

Congratulations on your twenty-second WDC anniversary. I had so many choices to read, I finally just clicked on "Nothing At All" at random to review in honor of your anniversary. I have a few thoughts to share with you that I hope will be useful to you.

Overall impression: I liked the way the story is written with a balance of narrative and dialogue. The double spacing is appreciated as it makes it easier to read. The action of drinking the wine was a good idea to be a constant behind the fantasy genie theme. Your introduction saying there was a genie in the bottle and asking the reader for an opinion about the wish had me engaged. I was interested to learn what the wish was for.

The story flowed well. Michael's character could have been enhanced by qualifying his comment with how he was expressing himself. Instead of "he said" perhaps "he said "sarcastically" to get a better idea of what he was thinking. On the other hand, that was left to the reader's imagination which is part of a good story, ie: to show, not tell.

I felt it was a compassionate wish. The problem with genies is they pop up unexpectedly and demand an answer right away. Your writing is terrific.

Write on!
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17
17
Review of Becky Marsdon  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello amateur40,

I saw your story "Becky Marsdon" in the current Short Stories Newsletter. I am pleased to provide a review with the caveat that this is just one person's opinion. I hope this is useful for you.

Overall impression: I saw in advance you noted this was for a dialogue competition. You met the criteria completely. The characters, beliefs, and habits of the two characters were well-developed because of the specific dialogue you attributed to each one. I can picture the looks on the wife's face as her husband probably lied. Whether he did or not, she put her foot down to which I wanted to shout bravo!

There are concerns I have in spelling an punctuation. Look it over and add periods to the end of each person's words. The word its used several times should be it's. The piece just needed another edit. It will make reading it most enjoyable.

Good job in creating an age old scenario that is probably going on right now between numerous couples. You nailed the concerns of the wife and the feigned absent mindedness of the man. I like the concept of all dialogue which is something I have never tried. Thanks for showing me what writing it was like.

Write on!
tracker
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18
18
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Beck,

I saw your entry in the current Short Stories Newsletter. I have some thoughts to share about The New Year's Move. Remember these are just one person's opinions that I hope will be useful to you.

Overall impression: This was a clever little story about two likeable characters. They seem to have hooked up and moved to the country. The conversation seems to be an amicable one with them agreeing to live out there with no people.

What I liked: I thoroughly enjoyed this new couple working out their issues like two mature adults proving that their union was a good idea. I like the way I was given free rein to imagine the characters, being shown just enough to do so. I resonated with the character fearful of mice, as I am. The closing with each accommodating the other was the one I was secretly rooting for.

One suggestion would be to double space. It is difficult to read all crowded together. I looked again at the sentence ending with "you can work remote." It should be remotely.

Congratulations on your originality and creative dialogue. It was a pleasure to take the trip to out of nowhere.

Write on!
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19
19
Review of Survival  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo,

I found your fish story, Survival, as an editor's pick in the latest Short Stories Newsletter. I am taking time to read and review each of the seven recommended stories, yours being the first. These are just some thoughts which is one person's opinion. I hope they are useful to you.

The prompt was nice and specific which I think made the response less complicated. I over have trouble selecting topics, so this prompt looked great to me. You led with the start of the conversation. Getting right to it was great for me. I did not need much explanation as you conveniently differentiated who was speaking. The fish has a good understanding of the English language. The respondent was a little surprised but willingly went with the conversation of not only talking to a fish but also hearing it talk back.

I questioned the extra quotation mark in the next to the last sentence. My bet is on a typographical error.

Great job using your imagination to come up with a successful conversation between man and beast---fish. I was entertained. You left me wanting to read more. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Good original story. Well-done.

Write on!
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20
20
Review of Dear Me,  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kristina,

I was following you down the rabbit hole when I somehow came upon your Dear Me entry. I wanted to give you some quick thoughts I had when reading it. My overall impression is that I am in awe of the battle you fought last year. Looking forward with the optimism you expressed made me feel so appreciative that there are people like you who, despite challenges, carry on with doing what it takes to make a dream come true. I will spend more time reading as time permits. Your Muse made no mechanical errors which was nice for me. If I had wishes to grant, I would grant yours to have a novel written by you and published. I liked the great job you did organizing your entry. Keep up the good work.

Write on!
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21
21
Review of Alone  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Hello Sophy,
Happy 22nd WdC Anniversary on the 25th. Congratulations! I enjoyed looking around at your portfolio. I was drawn to the poetry simply because the flower, my favorite, beckoned to me. I selected "Alone" because an acquaintance just experienced what your mother did.

My overall impression is this is a caring poem to your mother's cruelly sudden change in her life. Married so long and to have his diagnosis and passing is sad. Yet, I saw hope in your poem as you as she bravely took yet another phone call. I am a cat person and think your dad was reaching out to her reminding her that his cat has a mind of its own. He wanted to soothe her hurt, not bring her pain.

I loved the way you put your words on the page with the descending words a definite win-win. You are a gifted poet and I agree in the folder description is "The folder tells it all *Smile*" Thank you for reminding me of how precious our parents are and how we hold them in our hearts and memories for as long as we live. I loved you sharing your story.

Write on!
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22
22
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Elliot,

Welcome to our writing community. I have the privilege to review Not Your Average Suicide Note. I will share my thoughts which are just one person’s opinions. You may take away what is useful to you.

Overall impression: This was slam poetry on a controversial topic. You covered everything I can think of regarding how the act would be seen, and judged, and the impact on the people who touched a life.

The story is organized in order of importance which seems natural and flows well from one person to the next. The tone felt matter of fact, void of passion. Stating what you believe would happen and asking the most important question, does anyone care?

Because of the sensitive topic, you should have a trigger warning on your piece. It can be disturbing to some readers. Mechanically, one correction is in this sentence: my mind is telling me its so unrealistic, its should be it’s.

Thank you for sharing your slam poetry. I see you are not new to writing and look forward to reading more.

tracker,

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23
23
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Hope,

Although I doubt I will ever have the need to know this, your instructions on how to lace needlework are crying out for you to do a YouTube video. You could get followers and even make some side cash. It would, however, require time which you have precious little of.

You could artistically make an envelope of sorts, print and insert the instructions, and sell them in your shop. I can't write the instructions as you did, but my mind floats to innovative ideas to expand the idea into the merchant aspect. Nice job on what looks to me like pretty solid steps.

Pointing out that your customers could save money, even though it reduces your profit, is the sign of an ethical and reliable business woman. I continue to see so much talent, this and your poetry for Wonderland's activity, for example. It must be gratifying not only to do the work but to also receive some praise which I think would make it even more rewarding. Keep up the great writing. You never know when I will drop in, unannounced and review it. Way to go, Hope!

Write on!
tracker

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GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
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24
24
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kristina,

Thank you for The March Hare's Tea-Time Word Search Game. I like to do the searches, even have physical search books, but don't do them as often as I play some other online games. Your puzzle was challenging, which I like. It seems like there are so many, many activities as you traipse around Wonderland.

Congratulations for making this great word search. Rooting you on to more success!!!

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
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Made by Hanna
25
25
Review of That October  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your Grandpa's story. Your questions may not all be answered, but having you in his life was your gift to him, as his to yours. It seems you were the only one who produced a "spark" giving his life meaning and depth. Your imagery is superb. "Donned the guilt like a heavy coat" and "My grief had to go scavenging for comfort" are two of many examples. Finding the remaining part of him on the ground and covering up was moving. I am sorry for your loss.

One small correction is needed in the middle of the next to last paragraph, "I felt your lost most poignantly." Lost should be loss.

Thank you for sharing this most tragic event in your life. You are a gifted writer.

Write on!
tracker

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Image #2056440 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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