*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/uglimukluk
Review Requests: OFF
21 Public Reviews Given
42 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: E | (4.0)
The article “Introducing Islam” probably could more rightly be called “An Introduction to Islam”. Because it is just that. A very brief and basic introduction to an extremely complex and, often, misunderstood subject.

I would like to compliment the you for attempting to enlighten those who don’t understand what Islam is about and what it is not about.

The article covered a few of the more obvious misunderstanding, but unfortunately did so using terms unfamiliar to non-Muslims without defining the terms. i.e., (S.A.W.W.) and (A.S.) the use of the word purdah and the acronym WTC.

After explaining the main beliefs of Islam, the article changes subject and become an explanation of how the extremists who are causing such worldly turmoil are not true Muslims.

I respect the you and your beliefs. It is a very daunting undertaking to try to bring out the truth of a very complex subject.

Good job and may God bless you.

Bob
2
2
Review of Last one Standing  
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Tvie

I chose to review this one because it concerns a subject near and dear to me. Species extinction.

The subject and the manner in which you present it is clear and logical. Your feeling for the demise of the herd, and the last individual, is real.

There are only a few minor errors in the work, mostly punctuation, but there is one word that I think is wrong and that is in the paragraph 7. You said all the planets died. I think you meant plants.

Keep on readin' and writin',

Bob
3
3
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an over all rating for all chapters through 8. Don't keep us waiting for the continuation across Europe to India.

I want to meet Amaris and Sanjiv.

Keep on readin' and writin',

Bob
4
4
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
James Lee

Very well written original story. The sequence of events followed a logical order and the theme flowed naturally.

I offer a few hints to help make it read easier.

The comment: And for those who have to live with there actions.
Should be:And for those who have to live with their actions.

Comment: You should check your work for punctuation errors. There are several places where there is no space after a period.

Comment: If you would break your work into more paragraphs it would help the reader.

Comment: Sentence structure is, at times, a little less than proper.

I hope you don't take offense at my suggestions. It is just that this group has helped me in so many ways that I feel I should try to help others.

Keep writing,

Bob
5
5
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Loved your story enough to print out a copy for my wife to read. We both enjoyed it very much.

If you don't mind a few suggestions from an amateur writer, I have a few I thought migh help. Take them or leave them. I won't be offended.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Her hands gripped the rail of the widows walk in which she stood and watched from."

Suggestion:
Her hands gripped the rail of the widow's-walk where she stood and watched the ever changing mood of the ocean.

-----------------------------------------------------

"She sighed and glanced once more over the birds-eye-view of the ocean..."

Suggestion:
She sighed and glanced once more over the bird's eye view of the ocean..."

------------------------------------------------------

"The doctor gave Mary a reassuring pat on the knee as the contraction eased and rose from his chair..."

Suggestion:
The doctor gave Mary a reassuring pat on the knee as the contraction eased and he rose from his chair...

------------------------------------------------------

"She turned and gave Trish a reassuring smile and gripped her hand reassuringly."

Suggestion:
She turned and gave Trish a reassuring smile {i]as gripped her hand.

-----------------------------------------------------

"...the gift to be able to see what was happening in the present or past of the person she sought out,..."

Suggestion:
the gift to be able to see what was happening in the present or in thepast of the person she sought out,
----------------------------------------------------

"His mouth was sat in a grim frown as he looked over the ship and sea."

Suggestion:
His mouth was set in a grim frown as he looked over the ship and the sea.

-----------------------------------------------------

"...the captain barked as he began to climb the riggins at the Starfire to help unfurl..."

Suggestion:
"...the captain barked as he began to climb the rigging of the Starfire to help unfurl..."

-----------------------------------------------------

"Heavy on his mind was the thought of the pirates, they had been spotted the evening before following at a distance."

Suggestion:
Heavy on his mind was the thought of the pirates, who had been spotted earlier, following at
a distance."

----------------------------------------------------
"Horror and danger lanced his voice as he watched the sails being ripped, then shredded buy the gale force winds."

Suggestion:
Horror and danger lanced his voice as he watched the sails being ripped, then shredded by the gale force winds."

----------------------------------------------------

"He began to wonder where the pirates were now located."

Suggestion:
He began to wonder where the pirates were now.

-----------------------------------------------------

"We all have tried to outrun and elude them,..."

Suggestion:
We have tried to outrun and elude them,

-----------------------------------------------------

"...Thomas called over the den of noise."

Suggestion:
...Thomas called over the din.

----------------------------------------------------

"...the deck was slick form rain and blood,..."

Suggestion:
...the deck was slick from rain and blood,

----------------------------------------------------

I hope I have not offended you, but take the suggestions as my two cents worth and keep writing.

From one very amateur writer,

Bob
6
6
Review by Little Bobby
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent commentary on the way Mr. Rogers touched, and changed, many of our lives.

Our family, too, watched this gentle man change into a family man as he entered his, and our, house.

He will be long remembered and even when his name is forgotten his lessons will live on.

Your love of this man is apparent in the way you remember him.

God bless,
6 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/uglimukluk