Your story is what reality has to happen the fammilies'. I went through that similar situation. It is heart breaking. The only problem is that the story has a mite too many words. You should try and break a paragraphs into four lines at the most. This is due to the effect most readers only read a portion of it, I could feel the emotional struggle that you have gone through. It is realism. Take it easy on yourself. You will pull through it. You will make it there, to find it in your heart to continue on in this.
The story has a great deal of data that is there. You have allowed us to do see what you are offering for us. The story has a dark passage to it. The way you have been able to do this is well crafted, I found the story was able to do this. The darkness that you have brought us to this realm. You were able to do this, I thank you for the story, you may wish to cut back on the usage of words.
You have a huge mass of dialogue which is good. To allow us to know about the figures in the story, emotional being. The way they are behaving is realistic in this environment. You have composed, the history is able to explain what they have to do this to stay alive. The world is a military base instead of a regular community so it is military authorize environment. You have allowed us to learn more about these figures by doing this. Their motivation, what they want to be able to relax and have a good time.
The Jargon i had failed to realize that you background is militarily based. My father was a Radar Communication tech in the canadian national defense. So, I should have realized that it was a military voice, and its cadance, You have created quite a story that is there and well wworh the read, Thank you your suggestion, To Continue on with it.
It is the truth you speak, dear friend. When will man know, and truly understand the meaning of peace. The time, we have been here, we have never learned what that five letter means. We should love one another, sister or brother. That is what we should do, but we have never learned, what does it give us. But bodies to litter grave yards.
The story has a curios blend of naval operations. The story seems to board on the star treks design. The way that you describe things is very well designed, you have a way with your words. keep it up. You have allowed us to know, how to do this. You have drawn us into your realm. The idea that they had been able to do these things by hiding behind a planet to conceal their appearance from the space ship that has been attacked by them.
your story has a lot to offer, a good type of a story. You are able to allow us to know, this fact. The information is very sound. It is able to draw us in. Make us desire to know more about the conflict, that is why they have done these things. The story is able to draw us into the world that you have created. It is well crafted, being able to do this is well done. I found your story well worth the read. Keep up the good work you have done here.
The description you have used to create the figures is very well crafted. Your story is able to convey the despiration of the characters who are there. Your sword fight is good. I have found it was good. The story is able to do this, it allows us to know what the prince is able to under the thoughts of. It was well done, well done in deed.
That was entertaining, and true the slab you sue fro baking is that way. I found it to be descriptive and very true to the event of baking. Your work speaks of the knowledge that you have garnered. From the desire to make a pastry. Thank you for writing it.
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