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Rated: 18+ · Quiz · Personal · #1147051
Just how problematic are you? Let's find out.
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How Problematic Are you?
A Quiz to Determine if You're Acolyte Material

So you want to be like me? You want to learn from the Great PC? Well, the first step in becoming my disciple is taking this little quiz. I need some problematic potential to work with. Honestly I can make anything problematic, but I'm too lazy. Hopefully most of the work is already done for me.

You must answer these questions honestly! If I suspect you lied to win to my favor, I'll transform into my alterego Captain Cornsquisher and fling poo at you. By being dishonest with yourself and the quiz, the only one you're hurting is yourself. Because trust me, getting hit with poo can smart!
Quiz Scoreboard Available: View Scoreboard

1. Ninja Tolerance:
 Tiny plastic ninjas take over your apartment. What do you do?
       Tell your boyfriend to grow up and throw the ninjas away.        
       Waste your life savings at the dollar store, buying little green army men to combat the ninja menace.        
       Accidentally drop a ninja in the toilet and promptly fish the precious ninja out with your hand.        
       Create a photographic record of their escapades and post it online for the world to see.        
       Realize someone could choke on the ninjas or step on them and get hurt, so instead you donate them to Goodwill.        
       Display the ninjas all around your house and snicker like a little bitch when people wonder what you're doing.        
2. The Church of Chuck:
 After hours of driving around the mall parking lot, you finally find a spot. Just before you can take it, a red Corvette slips into the spot, and the driver gives you the finger. You both step out of your cars, and you realize it's Chuck Norris. What do you do?
       Offer to have his children.        
       Drop to your knees and chant "I am not worthy."        
       Slap the bitch.        
       Nod and say "Excuse me, sir, I'm sure I can find another spot."        
       Start singing the Walker: Texas Ranger theme song.        
       Ask if all those Chuck Norris facts are true.        
       Have Mr T. fuck him up for you.        
3. Your Boring Friend:
 Your best friend is telling you a story of their recent breakup. He/she is distraught and on the verge of tears. How do you console him/her?
       You promise to take her to a psychic consultation to have her love line read.        
       You calmly tell her that she had this coming because she's been a bitch and a tease.        
       Realizing you're bored to tears, you yawn loudly in her face, hoping it will end this whiny bullshit.        
       You laugh at the three-legged dog taking a crap and run after it as your friend starts bawling.        
       You put your arm around her, and tell her she's a beautiful person inside and that she deserves better.        
4. Mediation:
 A close friend gets into a petty online squabble with another Writing.com member. What do you do?
       Suggest they ignore each other and file a formal complaint if necessary        
       Writing a thought-provoking blog entry about petty online squabbles.        
       Write a blog entry ridiculing your friend's adversary        
       Boycott that mean person's port.        
       Publicly compare that person to fecal matter.        
       Say simply and mysteriously "I'll take care of it" and proceed to send threatening emails.        
5. Gratitude:
 A new blog reader is leaving comments in your blog. You visit his blog to return to the favor and find it to be mind-numbingly boring. How do you respond? (And NO, this isn't about any of you! God!)
       You read the blog everyday, saying to yourself "Why the fuck do I read this?" and leaving a comment on those rare days that it's interesting.        
       You respond to 90% of their blog entries with {e:yawn}.        
       You leave a solitary blog comment with a positive message and at least one smiley.        
       You refrain from leaving any comments at all.        
       You tell all your friends to "check out this dipshit!"        
       You're too apathetic and lazy to check out his blog in the first place.        
6. House Training:
 You come home to find your dog has shat on the carpet. What do you do?
       You scold your dog with a wagging finger and soft "No" and schedule training classes.        
       You scoop the droppings with your pooper scooper and wash them down the toilet.        
       You scoop the droppings with your pooper scooper and chuck them on the neighbor's lawn.        
       You scoop the droppings with your pooper scooper and chuck them on the neighbor's face.        
       You put the poop in the freezer where it belongs.        
7. Life of the Party:
 You're at a quiet party. Everyone is mingling and sipping cocktails. How do you liven things up?
       You buy everyone drinks until they're falling down drunk. Then you videotape them for blackmail later.        
       After a few drinks, you pop in a CD and teach everyone the Safety Dance        
       You start a rousing game of charades.        
       You sit quietly in the corner, sharpening your katana and waiting for the inevitable zombie outbreak.        
       You find the pile of coats and promptly shit on them. You then deny said shitting.        
8. Ah Crap!:
 You're at work and realize you really have to take a dump. The public restroom leaves a bit to be desired, and you have no chance of getting out of work for another four hours. You're starting to turtlehead. What do you do?
       You go to the public restroom, lay toilet paper down on the seat, and as quietly as possible do your business.        
       You saunter into the restroom, plop down, and proceed to play the national anthem with your ass cheeks spread over the porcelain seat.        
       You unsuccessfully hold the turd, it's protruding end slowly streaking your undies.        
       You hold it until you get home.        
       You life your leg and rip a wholesome fart. That should tide you over for a couple hours.        
       You spend the next 30 minutes in the bathroom, grunting and shaking the stall as the alien birthing through your rectum tears every blood vessel in your colon.        
9. Contesting Something:
 You find a contest that's right up your alley. You're inspired and thrilled to find such a contest. The deadline is in one week. How do you handle it?
       You wait until the night before, and push out an unedited draft and whine when you lose.        
       You journal about how you'll definitely win this contest if you ever get around to entering. Which you don't.        
       You'll bookmark the contest and complelety forget about.        
       You begin work on the story immediately.        
       You write a brilliant story in which the host of the contest is consumed by poo creatures.        
       You blame your procrastination on a ninja menace.        
10. E-this!:
 Someone publicly questions the E-ratedness of your most recent Scroll post. How do you respond?
       You journal about how stupid some prudish people are.        
       You pretend it never happened and refrain from using similar words/scenarious.        
       You embark on an E-rated scroll debate.        
       Your next series of scroll posts include "fanny burping," "poo," and "booger" in large quantities and no particular order.        
       You mock the user by flagrantly questioning her sanity and pointing out each not-so-E thing mentioned thereafter.        
How'd you do? Click below for your results:
          
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