Water Cooler Murder Plot

Becky lifted the cup to her mouth, and relished the sensation of cold water carressing her dry throat. She had been on the telephone non-stop for the last three hours, and desperately needed a short reprieve. She looked at the wall clock that was hung directly above the watercooler, noted that it was a quarter to five, and decided that she would simply wind down for the remainder of her shift. A smile formed on her face as she saw her office friend, Lucy, approach the water cooler.

         “Hi, Becks,” Lucy greeted her, bending down to pour hot water into her mug. She has a special tea bag for it waiting at her desk. “How was your day today?”

         Becky groaned, “Same old, same old. I swear if I saw one more credit app today, I would pop a vein.”

         Lucy snickered. “Tell me about it. God, I hate the end of the month.”

         Becky nodded tentatively. “I’ll tell you what, though, I saw one from this guy who lives in the West Hills that was so hilarious I almost peed my pants.”

         “Really?” Lucy queried, excitedly. “What was so funny about it?”

         Becky was stifling her laughter. “Well, you could tell that he didn’t fully understand some of the terminology on the form, so—” Becky stopped in mid-sentence and simply stood, mouth agape, looking past Lucy.

         Lucy turned around to see their friend, Sheila, almost power-walking in their direction. As Sheila drew near, Becky and Lucy immediately saw the fuming, reddened face of their young co-worker. Sheila stopped within a few feet of her older officemates. “That does it! I am so out of here tomorrow!”

         Lucy placed her hand on her flustered friend. “Oh, my goodness, dear! What happened?”

         “Yes, hon’,” Becky followed. “Tell us. Maybe we can help?”

         Sheila took one deep breath, closed her eyes, and attempted to calm herself. She opened her eyes, and said with gritted teeth, “I am sick and tired of that Rodney.”

         At the mention of Rodney’s name, Lucy and Becky simply looked at each other with a knowing glance, almost as if to indicate they understood the full meaning behind Sheila’s anger. Rodney was the branch manager, and was known for his strong personality. He was at once demeaning toward and flirtatious with the women in the office, and the attractive ones, like their Sheila, were constant prey. The problem was that allegations of Rodney’s actions have had no evidence to support them. So, Rodney remained free to continue his underground terrorism in the office.

         “I just don’t know if I can take it anymore,” Sheila added, a hint of a quiver in her voice.

         “There, there, Sheila,” Becky soothed, offering her a cup of water. Sheila accepted it but simply held the cup in her hand. “Don’t fret. Just forget about it and move on.”

         Sheila sighed. “I know you’re right, Becks. I can’t afford to lose this job right now anyway.”

         Sheila and Becky were both surprised when Lucy suddenly slammed her coffee mug on the top of the water cooler jug, causing a little of the hot liquid to splash out, barely missing the three women. Becky glared at her friend and could only offer her a questioning expression.

         “You know what?” Lucy began, her own voice shaking, and the cheeks on her freckled face beginning to deepen in color. “I am sick and tired of ‘forgetting about it and moving on’ when it comes to Rodney. This has got to stop. And I’m also disappointed that Human Resources can’t seem to do anything about it. I mean, HR here is a joke!”

         Becky reached across and gently placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Easy, Luce. Your voice is a little too loud.”

         “He made a pass at me,” Lucy quipped.

         “He did?!” the two other ladies exclaimed in unison, their query clearly tainted with obvious disbelief. In a split second, Sheila couldn’t help but give Lucy a once-over, and decided that Rodney—to his credit—would’ve had to have been temporarily blind to have flirted with the rotund Accounts Receivable Supervisor.

         Becky, herself quite attractive in a mature way, must have subconsciously done the same, that Lucy gave both ladies a smarmy look. “Well, don’t think it’s that inconceivable.”

         Becky shook her head, as if from out of a momentary trance, and recovered her senses. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I’m sure that it happened.”

         “Yeah, sweetie,” Sheila said in agreement, but offered no more words to follow it.

         Lucy decided to shake off her contempt for the two ladies at that moment to continue on her tirade. “Anyway, there is something we can do about it. And, we’re just the three who could pull it off.”

         Becky and Sheila looked at each other and then both looked at Lucy, who had a slight smirk growing on her face. For a brief moment, the three merely stood there not saying a word, but with one another’s eyes darting from one pair to another. A bubbling sound in the water jug offered a brief respite from the silence.

         It was Sheila who had to inquire. “What are you talking about, Lucy?”

         Lucy’s smirk turned into what can plainly be described as an evil smile, and her brows met in a furrow. In an almost comical fashion, Lucy looked to her left, then to her right, before leaning in closer to the questioning friends. As if governed by some inherent Paplovian tendencies, Becky and Sheila also leaned in closer to meet Lucy in the middle.

         “We could off him,” Lucy finally said, to the apparent disbelief of her coworkers. It was Becky who finally couldn’t help herself and let out a hearty laughter, which caused a few heads to pop out of the tops of some nearby cubicles, only to disappear again as quickly. Sheila was as bewildered at the sight of her laughing friend on the one side, as she was of the image of Lucy’s stern expression on the other.

         “I’m not kidding, you know,” Lucy asserted. “I know a guy.”

         Becky quickly stopped laughing and straightened herself. In her mind, she went through every incarnation of what she had heard Lucy say, but couldn’t really make sense out of any of them. “Are you out of your mind?” she demanded, half-whispering-half-yelling, “What do you mean you know a guy?”

         “Yeah,” Sheila managed, “You can't be serious.”

         “Dead serious,” Lucy said, smiling. “Pardon the pun.”

         Becky leaned in even closer toward her friend. “Look, Lucy Grainger. This is no joking matter.”

         “Who said I was joking?” Lucy calmly replied.

         “Oh, my God,” Sheila sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

         A smug look flew across Lucy’s face. “I’ve actually been planning something for quite some time now, and was only waiting for the right moment to act. I think that moment has come.”

         “Lucy,” Becky interrupted. “I swear to you, if you do not stop talking about this—”

         “Incoming!” Sheila squealed in a near-whisper.

         “Hi, ladies!” a female voice cheerfully bellowed. It came from Karen McGovern, the Human Resources Manager.

         “Hi, Karen,” all three said simultaneously, as they stepped aside to allow Karen to obtain a cup of cold water. “So, what are we talking about?”

         “Nothing much,” snapped Lucy, “Just recounting the details of the Q351 report. That was a doozey.”

         “Oh, was it?” Karen casually asked. Lucy knew that Karen would not even know what a Q351 report was, and was banking on that ignorance to hasten her departure. “Well, as long as you’re not plotting to kill anyone,” Karen said, and offered a lighthearted chuckle as she began to walk away.

         “Ha, ha, that is so funny!” Becky nervously retorted. Sheila just smiled, and was nudging Lucy to do the same.

         “Ta-ta, ladies,” Karen said without looking back at the three that remained by the water cooler. Becky and Sheila heaved a sigh of relief at Karen’s departure, while Lucy had a strange triumphant look on her face. Silence again engulfed the three ladies, as the conversations of the past few minutes continued to swim around in their minds.

         It was Sheila who finally broke the silence. “Do you really think we could pull it off?”

         “Sheila!” Becky barked.

         “Well, I mean if we really could pull it off,” Sheila continued, “I think we should consider it.”

         Becky groaned, shook her head, and sighed. “Fine, Luce.” she said, dejected. “What’s your plan?”

         Lucy’s smile widened. “Well, I had Rodney followed—”

         “You had him followed?” Becky said in disbelief.

         “Well,” Lucy continued, “Actually, I followed him…for a couple of weeks…on his way to the gym…”

         “Stalker…” Sheila offered, a slight taunting rise in her voice.

         Lucy frowned in her direction. “Anyway, he goes to this gym about five blocks from here, after work, Monday through Friday, and he’s always done by eight o’clock—”

         “You waited outside his gym for...three hours?” Becky asked, disgust crept into her voice.

         “Like I said,” Sheila interjected. “Stalker…”

         “Would you two be quiet?!” Lucy demanded. “Anyway, the plan is that I’ll have my guy waiting for him at the parking lot, where he will strike Rodney repeatedly in the head as he tries to get in his car—”

         “But,” Becky interrupted, confused “...Rodney takes the train.”

         “He…does?” Lucy stammered.

         Becky gave her friend a befuddled look. “Wait. You followed him for a couple of weeks, and you didn’t know this fact?”

         “But he would always go toward the parking lot at the end of his workouts,” Lucy added, “I just assumed that he had a car.”

         “Did you ever see him drive out of the parking lot in one?” Becky questioned.

         “W-Well,” Lucy stammered again, “Not exactly.”

         “This is great,” Becky said, throwing her arms in the air. “So much for your well-thought-out plan.”

         “Wait,” Lucy pleaded. “I’ve got it! I can have my guy waiting for him at the train station—”

         “Too crowded,” Sheila quipped. Becky and Lucy each gave her a surprising stare. “Well, it is.”

         Outside, the church bells sang their tune at the five o’clock hour. The music making all three ladies look toward the windows as if hypnotized by the familiar melody. Lucy was the first to resurface. “I know! I can have my guy join the gym, befriend Rodney, wait for him in the sauna, and, when no one else is there, strangle him with a towel. Ha, ha! He wouldn’t see that coming!”

         Lucy marveled at the apparent fluidity of her plan. Her two coworkers, however, simply stared at her in wonderment. “What?”

         “You have gone insane,” Becky sighed. “This plan will never work, and it is useless for us to talk about it.”

         “Yeah,” followed Sheila, “I’ve got to go. My boyfriend’s coming over to cook me dinner.”

         “Oh, that’s sweet,” Becky swooned.

         “Wait!” Lucy scoffed. “We’ve got to talk about this some more! We have to solidify the plans! Let’s meet about this again tomorrow?”

         “Ooh, I can’t, Luce,” Becky said, apologetically. “I’m going to be on calls all day tomorrow.”

         “And I’ll be out of the office visiting our clients around town,” Sheila added.

         “Well,” Lucy muttered, feeling defeated. “How about on Wednesday?”

         Becky shook her head. “Can’t on that day either, Luce.”

         “Yeah, me neither,” Sheila agreed. “I’m actually going to the opera with Harold that night.”

         “And he likes the opera,” Becky continued to swoon over Sheila’s boyfriend, while Sheila giggled like a schoolgirl.

         “Thursday?” Lucy asked, unenthusiastically.

         “Hmm…yes,” Becky agreed. “I think Thursday would work for me. Sheila?”

         Sheila nodded. “I’ll make time for it.”

         “Okay, then,” Lucy managed, as she retrieved her mug from the top of the water cooler jug. She dumped the tepid water it contained into the garbage bin next to the water cooler. “See you gals tomorrow.”

         Sheila smiled, and gave the AR Supervisor a quick hug. Becky grinned where she stood.

         “What was that for?” Lucy asked Sheila, confused.

         “Thank you for caring so much,” Sheila said, smiling one last time before walking back toward her cubicle. It wasn’t a surprise to either Lucy or Becky that Sheila’s steps appeared to have had newfound springs in them. Becky simply placed a hand on her friend for a second, before walking away from the water cooler.

         Lucy watched as Becky disappeared into her cubicle, presumably to retrieve her purse and head home. She sighed as she bent down to fill her mug with hot water, then she turned around and walked toward her own desk. For another few moments, potential scenarios of Rodney’s demise played like mini-movies inside Lucy’s mind. But these were soon replaced with thoughts of a very special tea bag waiting for her at her desk. As she walked away, Lucy barely heard the soft gurgling sounds coming from the water cooler jug, as bubbles made their way up to the water line.