Second Chances?

Second Chances?
by
E.E. Coder

Waking with a start, the first thing that entered my mind was an incredible need to vomit. Actually it never entered my mind until I was already involved in doing it, Ahuuuuup.....Auhhhuup, oh Godddd, Ahuuuuupagggghhh. I retched and retched until my insides felt like they were going to be on the outside.

Jesus Christ! What the hell is this all about? Before I could even finish that thought, I was wracked with another wave of nausea, not only bringing forth more vomiting and gagging but worse; I felt my sphincter loosen and I was spewing forth from both ends.

"Oh Godddd! Auhhhuuuuhuuuhhup, oh God nooooo! Ahhhuuup!" If I had been able to think any clear thoughts they were gone now with the torrent that flew from me.

After an eternity, the spasms subsided some. I lay there face down, my body drenched in vile smelling liquid. I knew it to be really vile since my face was pressed into the vomit covered mattress, which was no bed of roses either. The smell coming from behind and below me was much worse.

After what seemed like at least another hour, I gathered what remaining strength I had, to try and move myself from that liquid sheet underneath me. With a mighty heave I was able to roll over enough to fall off the bed, landing hard into a heap of disgusting mess on the floor. It was only then that I was able to clear my head enough to wonder where my wife was.

“My God!” I started to scream, before another bile filled torrent blew forth from my lips. More wracking spasms twisted my body as I tried to will it back down my throat. “Honey?” I croaked. “Honey, are you there?” With terrible desperation, I gripped the blankets hanging from the bed, managing to pull myself up enough to see that there was no one else up there. My first thoughts of relief faded when I realized that I was alone, what's more, this wasn’t my bed nor my bedroom.

Where in the hell am I? My mind screamed, as I tried desperately to pull myself upright.

Looking across I could see a white piece of paper lying on the pillow on the other side of the bed. Mustering what strength I had left, I managed to heave myself up enough to be able to crawl across the shit splattered bed until I could reach the paper. Clutching it feverishly, I tried to bring it up to my face to see what was on it. Another nauseous wave flashed through me, clenching the paper over my head I was able to save it from becoming covered with filth.

My body fought to throw off whatever it was that was that was trying just as hard to get out, what must have been another hour went by before I could control myself enough to stop the outpour. Wiping my face on the bedsheet beneath me I brought the paper up to my face enough to make out the words written there.

Jeff,
Did you really think you could get away with it??? This morning I got a call from that little cunt bitch you have been fucking. She wanted to tell me that you were going to leave me and go live with her, she wanted me to know that you love her and you were going to spend the rest of your life with her. Isn’t that just the funniest thing you have ever heard, you insufferable fucking pig???
Well surprise surprise, you fucking bastard it isn’t going to happen!!!! I mixed up a little cocktail to add to your drink last night, you might wake up in time to be able to read this but maybe not so mostly this note is for me you fucking prick cocksucker!!!!! I figure what I put into your drink should leave you dead by tomorrow but just in case I am going to wait for a couple of more days before I come up to the cabin you fucking bastard then I will delight in cutting your body up into little bitty fish food sized pieces then I am going to leisurely motor around the lake and feed the dear little fishies!!! Isn’t that the second funniest fucking thing you have ever heard??? I will tell everyone that you have run off with that little bitch, you see I invited her over this afternoon and we had a lovely glass of tea, hers was maybe a trifle strong, hehheh. See you in a couple of days prick!
your loving wife,
Beverly

Oh my God! My mind screamed again. No, no, noooooooooo! I would have screamed aloud, but I was too busy trying to suppress the vomit building inside of me. First of all, I couldn’t believe what I was reading, Beverly normaly wouldn’t say shit if she had a mouthful, this letter was full of all kinds of vile things that I never in a million years would have believed I would ever hear from her. The fact that she had found out about Nancy really wasn’t an issue, I knew I would get into deep shit over her eventually and my premonition had certainly come true. It was a foolish mistake on my part and I had never promised Nancy a thing, so whatever idiotic thing she chose to do was of her own making. Of course I wouldn’t wish this painful death on anyone.

“Oh God!” I heard myself cry out. “I’m really going to die!”

It couldn’t be true, could it? I thought back to last night, I had come home from the office about 9 P.M.. Beverly had been there waiting for me, after I had hung up my coat and loosened my tie she had handed me a tall cool drink that I downed greedily.

True, it had been fairly unusual for Beverly to be that solicitous, especially lately. I had felt a little guilty about being late, but at least this time it hadn’t been because I had been with Nancy.

I had really had a big case that I was working on, the Clark account. I had been busily working away at it, not only neglecting my wife, but my mistress as well. Beverly informed me that Maria, the housekeeper, was off and that she had prepared dinner for us herself, "Something light." She had laughed.

“You go sit down and relax. Dinner will be in just a few minutes.” she said. Giving me a brief kiss on the cheek before handing me a fresh drink and moving off towards the kitchen.

Not having much left of the first drink, I gulped it back. Setting the empty glass on the dining table I took the fresh drink with me to go watch the news. I remember feeling a little tired as I relaxed on my recliner, closing my eyes just to rest them for a second or two. The next thing I remember was waking up to misery in that bed awhile ago.

Christ, could she have really done it? I asked myself, Beverly was a pharmacist, she did have access to lots of different chemicals and definitely knew how to use them. Another spasm wracked my body, causing the vomit to rise, but I was almost empty. Though my insides struggled mightily to do so, not much was brought up as I fell onto the floor writhing in convulsions.

“Arrggghhh!” I moaned laying there in what little respite was given to me, my mind was racing in complete panic mode.

Even though I was weak as a 3 day old kitten, I tried to figure some way out of this. The trouble was that I was absolutely useless at chemistry, the way I was puking and shitting meant that just vomiting this stuff was not going to rid me of it.

Looking around the room I knew immediately that I wasn’t going to call for help, the cabin had no phone and of course she hadn’t left me my cellphone either. So, I wasn’t going to call for help, maybe I could go for help?

Summoning up all of my strength I tried to crawl towards the door, knowing full well that in the weakened state I was in I wasn’t going to be able to manage the twelve miles to the nearest town or neighbor.

After what seemed another eternity I did somehow get to the door, clawing with my fingernails I got upright enough to open the door, only to see that not only was it dark outside but it was also about 30 degrees with a heavy rain coming down. “Shiittt!!!” I screamed aloud this time as I fell backwards, more spasms wrenching my inert form as I lost consciousness.

I don’t know how long I had been out this time, but when I awoke I was shivering from the cold wind and rain that was coming in the still open door. Flopping myself around I did manage to push enough to get the door closed, collapsing against it I almost blacked out again.

Lying there, I tried in vain to come up with any kind of escape plan, but my mind wouldn’t or couldn’t still itself long enough for me to think. The only thing left for me to do was to let someone know what had happened to me, I couldn’t let this be the end without some kind of revenge.

Willing myself to move, I forced myself to put one hand and one knee in front of the other as I slowly, painfully made my way to the small writing table beside the fireplace. Once there, I pulled myself into the chair. Grabbing a pen and paper, I tried to clear my mind enough to be able to write something.

Think, damnit! I told myself, I not only had to think of what to say, I had to figure out where to hide it. Some place Beverly wouldn’t find it, but it could possibly be found by someone else. Sweeping everything else from the table, I pushed all other thoughts out of my mind as well and began to write;

To whom it may concern,
As I sit here in my own filth it comes to me what a complete asshole I am, I spent my life learning to be one and I was successful, very successful as a matter of fact. It has led to my downfall. My wife Beverly found out that I had a mistress and she has decided to kill me. I no doubt deserve to die although this wasn’t the way I envisioned it would be, nevermind the ways I thought it might come about, but since death is before me I want to write down some last thoughts. I have no children, although Beverly wanted them, no siblings either. My parents are long gone and I managed to alienate any friends I might have made with my contemptible actions all of my life so it falls to me to explain myself. I really do love Beverly, oh I know it sounds funny now coming from a dying detestable man but I swear it is the truth, it dawns on me that Beverly admitted to killing Nancy but somehow that doesn’t seem to matter to me now, in fact all through this ordeal I never even gave Nancy much thought I do hope she didn’t suffer this death but mostly for her dignity not from any love I might have fooled her into thinking I might have for her. I do wish, oh Lord how I do wish, that I had some way to make up for all of the hurt I caused to everyone through my actions not only in the courts, but in my personal life as well, especially to Beverly. I really do love you my darling and I want you to know that I forgive you, I deserve everything that is coming to me, I know I treated you badly but I want you to know that Nancy meant nothing more to me than a diversion to fill the nights I had to stay in the city. I would much rather it had been you that was beside me on those nights, but I couldn't seem to find the words to tell you that I needed you with me so like a fool I just took what was handy. I know it was wrong but you know I was never very strong at resisting impulses, a failing you have pointed out to me before, so I was weak and you are right a bastard. So before I go I just wanted to reaffirm my love for you, haha yeah I know it sounds ridiculous but nonetheless true. I feel a great weariness coming over me and I want to finish this with some kind of flourish but I am afraid it is just not to be. Forgive me Beverly you deserved better.
Jeff

Yeah, I know. It wasn’t the accusatory letter that I sat down to write, but as death nears me I feel it better to be able to face my maker with a clear heart and not viscious accusations. I do deserve to die, no argument about that. I cheated on Beverly more than once, I was a skillful but dishonest lawyer, I had even been a devious kid too. In fact my past is littered with indiscretions both emotional and beyond, I admit it, I was and am, a fucking prick!

My head fell forward onto the table and I allowed myself a few tears as waves of contrition washed over me, mixed with the nausea it was a terrible combination. Beverly was right, I didn't deserve to live.

That is a painful conclusion to come to this late in life, but as I sat there a peaceful fog drifted through my mind. As I felt a sort of calm acceptance, I was feeling more and more at peace, my muscles were relaxing and loosening, I could feel myself floating away. I am getting so sleep_________, I am getting so sleepy, so very sle-e-p___________

The next thing I felt was cold water showering over me. As I tried to clear my mind and figure out how it was that I had gotten outside into the rain, I opened my eyes and saw that I was face down in the bath tub. Raising my head farther, I saw Beverly standing over me, before I could speak she reached back and swung her hand in an arc slapping me fully across the face.

“Wake up you dumb sonofabitch!” She smacked me the other direction. “Did you really think I would put my life in jeporady just to kill you, you miserable bastard?” I tried to bring my hand up to block her, but she got several more slaps in first.

“You didn’t poison me?” I croaked, trying to block the streaming shower spray from my eyes.

“Well, yes I did poison you,” she answered with a laugh, “but not something that would kill you, just something to get your attention, maybe put a little scare into you. Oh, and I didn't poison the little bitch either, but she is going to have one hell of a black eye for awhile!”

Oh my God, but it felt good to not be dead. I know I should be mad. No, I should be furious, but it was so good to not be dead. I would have smiled at Beverly, hell I would have kissed her, but figured it best to not push my luck.

“Now, I’m going to clean up in here. You're going to help too, you nasty bastard. Then we are going home,” she said “maybe somehow we can get a second chance at life before it is too late.”

I couldn’t have agreed more with that ambition.