from "Motiveless" by TK Harvey

TK Harvey "Motiveless" 288

It was well past midnite when I finally arrived home. Not wanting to go upstairs to the bed that I had built for Amy I climbed into bed in the downstairs guestroom.
I was tired and sleepy but before I fell asleep; I smiled at the pleasant memories of being in this bed. This was the first place Amy and I had made love in our new house as well as where we had spent our wedding night.

77
They say that time goes on and I suppose it does but some wounds never heal.
I dreamed that Amy and I were together on this bed. It was so real I could feel her, smell her, I rubbed her silky hair across my face and smelled it as I saw her body, felt her touch. My passions running high as I made love to her. Just as my juices were beginning to flow she suddenely went limp in my arms; her body entangled with mine began to feel cold.

I laid her flat on the bed and raised up so that I could look at her. There was a small hole under her left breast blood pooling on the matress under her back. Foamy blood speckled her blue lips with red as her eyes rolled up in her head and pasty white eyelids fluttered over their extinguished light. I stared at her in horror. As an only alternative to my mind snapping I screamed.

I do not know how long or how loud I screamed. After I woke myself up I still screamed. I had to have the blankness of the scream, you can't think and scream at the same time; try it sometime. Right then anything was better than thinking about what I had just seen.

My throat was sore when I finally forced myself to stop screaming. Only then hearing a cacophony of coyote voices showing their empathy for my loneliness and pain. It was as if they were everywhere; How loud had I screamed?

That question was answered moments later as I lay shivering in a cold sweat. I was trying to keep my mind blank when I heard the familiar sound of Uncle TJ's old truck coming up the driveway.

I turned on the porch light and opened the door where Uncle TJ could see that I was alright. Seeing me he left the shotgun in the truck and stepped up onto the porch looking at me. "You heard me plumb over to your place" was all I could think of to say to him.

"Lord all mighty boy" he exclaimed as he regained his voice.

"I am sorry Uncle TJ please come in and sit down. Here is my cell phone I have already speed dailed Aunt Gloria for you."

At that Aunt Gloria added her voice yelling into the phone "Whats going on? Tommy, TJ?" Uncle TJ put the phone to his ear eyeing me a little strangely as he did so.

"Believe it or not, I had a terrible nightmare." I said in the way of explanation.

"It was a nightmare dear" Uncle TJ repeated into the phone. Then speaking to me. "Is there anything I can do; would you rather be alone?"

"No don't go" burst out of me before I had time to think. I looked at him tears filling eyes full of the horror of the vision that had seemed so real. He shook his head in the affirmative looking as if trying to read me as he put the phone back to his ear and said to Aunt Gloria.

"I will be home shortly sweetheart, go on back to bed I am going to stay and talk with Tommy for a bit." Not hearing Aunt Gloria's side of the conversation but "I love you too" is universal.

I could not help myself. The entire horror poured forth in such graphic detail as to put the poor man through a terrible range of emotion. Visibly shaken as he was he listened enraptured by my intensity and his love for those involved.

A part of me had to share this experience with another human. We both knew that it would never be mentioned to another soul but I am afraid Uncle TJ lived it almost as much as I had.

When my story reached it's conclusion I tried to clear my mind of it. My own selfish sense of terror and loss finally giving way to obvious ways it had affected the old man.

Released from the spell of that terrible dream I said, "Uncle TJ, you look like you could use a stiff drink."

"I would drink to that fact alone" he said shakily. The old man had been openely sobbing. Something you do not often see in his genre.

After toasting the fact that we both needed a drink we toasted the weather, the future, the past. What we saluted after that I do not really remember but needless to say we got pretty drunk.

When Aunt Gloria walked across the field at seven the next morning she found Uncle TJ and I in the back garden swing singing Hank Williams songs. I guess being crazy has it's perks. Aunt Gloria just smiled motherly at her two wayward boys and coaxed us into the truck.

Aunt Gloria had coffee and breakfast for us but we both ended up in bed.I slept it off in their guest room.

Could I ever sleep in that house again? It was just a dream; was it not? I believed that any part of Amy's spirit left behind would have to be a loving one. Besides I had searched with my heart and soul and would have sensed any part of Amy. The only presence there being the smell of her in her closet and on the sheets still unchanged on the bed.

If it was a dream; could it not happen anywhere? Maybe it was a shade of the love we had shared on that bed but something evil had interceded the experience. Much the way something evil had interceded our happy lives.