by bob county
All is vanity for the celebrity.
|University of 3/19/07
What's Mattah You?
Mel: Hi! I hope I can answer your questions.
Girl: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh(breaks down in tears).
Professor Peanut: (giggles)Is it fair to say that Apocalypto has topped
Mel: Well, The Passion is making over a billion dollars in DVD...
But, I am proud of Apocalypto.. it's an entirely different film
with great box office returns.
Muzzy: Was Jesus gay?
Muzzy: He seemed so.... feminine: staying with his mother and bonding
so closely with his male friends.(big smile)
Mel: (blank stare).... Any other questions?
Professor Peanut: (giggles)Is it fair to say you dislike homosexuals? In
Brave Heart you had an openly gay man tossed out
Mel: (getting red faced) That is the most idiotic.... (press agent whispers
into Mels left ear.. Ahem(Mel drinks some water).... I have gay
friends and work with the homosexual community...
Muzzy: Is Patric McGoohan gay? He's never been in a stable relationship
with a woman and spends most of his time bonding with men.
Professor peanut: (giggling)I've heard that Mr. McGoohan has come out
and is openly gay.
Mel: (left eye twiches).... Oooooooookey-dokey.
Muzzy: Why not make a film about gay men doing heroic things?
Mel: I'll look into that....(smiles and waves and quickly exits).
Muzzy: Mop! Can we have a mop?
Professor Peanut: (giggles).
Muzzy: Don't be ashamed little girl... Be cheerful. In the noisy confusion of
life with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a
beautiful world......(rings out mop in bucket).
Girl: (smiles with braces glissening on teeth and skips away) slop! slop! slop!