Despairing

Feeling sick,
Its not just in my stomach-
Its raging all over and i can't seem to rid myself of it.
I want to let go,
let the emotions take me over.
Give in to that desperation.
A need.
A frightening want to leave, to let the world end-
And not have to see the painted faces each day for all eternity.
I know the world will never change for me,
so why, i ask you now, should i bother?