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Rated: ASR · Other · Satire · #1291072
A typical outing for liberal politicians.
Chez Liberal was quite busy. The main dining room was bustling with many well dressed men and women. In the center of the room the best dressed of the restraunt's patrons sat around a beautiful oak table. Dishes of caviar and filet mignon were piled on the table around the bottles of vintage French wine. A waitress came and placed down another dish of the finest swordfish. Unfortunatley for the waitress, she accidently bumped one of the ladies sitting around the table.

"Excuse me! Do you know who I am? How dare you touch me!"

"I am sorry Mrs. Clinton. Do you need anything else madame senator?"

"I could use something!"

"Yes, Mr. President Clinton?"

"I could use a little of your-"

"WILLIAM! What have I told you? Only hit on women who can draw media attention!"

"Yes ma'am" Bill said. A fork fell to the floor, and Bill picked it up and handed it to the woman who dropped it. Speaker Pelosi took it gracefully.

"Oh, thank you Bubba. You know the job is really stressing me out. I have had weak hands lately. You know? Signing all those MoveOn.org petitions really draws on your energy. And the grandkids as well..."

"Oh I know," piped up Ted Kennedy, "Besides my usual work, I have to keep up my deadline of dating and eventually killing young women."

"By the way, kudos for the ingenious 'car accident'. The Chappaquiddick was real helpful wasn't it?" said Senator Boxer.

"Drowning is always a helpful medium to get the job down." said Al Gore.

"Great job on your new book. You're a better propagandist than any Nazi ever was!"

"Yeah. Did you like the whole part about us living on a planet that will eventually be consumed in tidal waves?"

"I did, for one!" said Tipper Gore.

"You've always been my carbon-cutie." Said Gore as he embraced his wife in a loving hug. Bill tried to do the same but Hillary pushed him off.

"What are you doing?" asked Hillary.

"Givin' my scandalous lady some love."

"We are so over! How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Then why don't you file a divorce?" asked Bill innocently. The whole table erupted in laughter. Even Kerry was able to open his mouth in laughter although he had recently got his follow on Botox shots.

"Bubba has always been my favorite. He is sooo naive!" laughed Pelosi.

"Awww. Bill, you just don't realize that I need you!" said Hillary.

"But you don't need me, you don't love me!"

"That's because marriage is not about love," said Barbara Boxer, "it is about getting pregnant and having abortions! The feminist movement needs even more power!"

"What Would Jimmy Carter Do? That's what I always ask myself Bill, and it usually works." said Ted Kennedy.

"Well, uhhh, Jimmy hates Jews. Should I too?"

"Yes, Bill. Now you're getting the picture." said Hillary. She waved her hand in the air to get the attention of the waitress.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Get me a glass of chardonay."

"But Hillary..."


"I said..."


"I am very sorry Madame. Let me compensate by getting you that glass of wine."

"That's what I thought you said." said Hillary. As the waitress scuttled off to the kitchen, the front doors to the restraunt banged open as a dark figure entered. The whole room erupted into applause as Barrack Obama entered the room. He strolled over to the bar and sat down.

"Look at him," whispered Hillary, "Look at him pretending to be chic like me! He is such a faker."

"Well," said Jesse Jackson looking up from his dinner, "You do know he is not a real black man!"


"Yes, he does not appreciate the poor black men in the ghettoes who are being held down by the man!"

"He thinks that they should be responsible....HAH! How can one be responsible when one is being held down by the man?" said Hillary. She glanced at Jesse looking for approval. He nodded at her.

"Very good, Hillary. It seems like you've gone very far young apprentice."

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