Complicated

I can't justify my need;
I can't pursue you
like some dream,
my wiring is all messed up.
If I knew the blue wire
from the green...
know what I mean?

I can't justify my love;
the idle adoration of something
unattainable yet viable.
I cannot trust myself,
a circuitry too complicated
for someone so unwilling to learn.

I can't justify my life,
the purpose for even being here,
when I want so much
without putting in the work to earn.
I'll close the panel door,
too complicated...
colors too difficult to untangle.