A Boy And A Gun

BOY

What’s this Grandma?

GRANDMA

What’s what honey?

BOY

This thing. What is this thing, Grandma?

GRANDMA

Holy shit! Put that down!

BOY

What?

GRANDMA

Honey, put that down right now. Please.

BOY

But Grandma. I just want to know what it is.

GRANDMA

Point it at the floor. Stop waving it around.

BOY

How, Grandma?

GRANDMA

Just put it down on the floor, okay?

BOY

I just want to know what it is. What is it?

GRANDMA

It’s a gun, honey. It could kill you if it went off.

BOY

Is it a REAL gun?

GRANDMA

Yes, baby, it’s real.

BOY

(puts it down)

GRANDMA

(picks it up and unloads it) Here, let’s put it away.

BOY

Why do you have that, Grandma?

GRANDMA

It’s for protection, honey.

BOY

(laughs) But Grandma, you just said it could kill me. How does it protect me?

GRANDMA

Well, if a bad man came and tried to hurt us, we could scare him away.

BOY

Then why can it kill them?

GRANDMA

Well honey, I guess that’s the only thing that would really scare a bad man.

BOY

But what would you do to scare them?

GRANDMA

I would take that gun out and point it at them and tell them to leave.

BOY

But what if they didn’t leave?

GRANDMA

Well I think they would leave.

BOY

But what if they didn’t, Grandma? Would they hurt us?

GRANDMA

I wouldn’t let them hurt us, honey.

BOY

But how would you stop them?

GRANDMA

Well, I just would.

BOY

Would you shoot the bad man, Grandma?

GRANDMA

I guess if I had to , yes, I would.

BOY

But would you kill them?

GRANDMA

Well, honey you know Grandma would never want to kill anyone.

BOY

But would you?

GRANDMA

If I had to to protect us.

BOY

But Grandpa says we shouldn’t kill things, not even bugs, Grandma.

GRANDMA

And Grandpa is telling you right. We shouldn’t kill things. Only if we have no choice.

BOY

But how would you know?

GRANDMA

Well, I would just have to know.

BOY

But how would you?

GRANDMA

Well, if somebody tried to hurt us, and I couldn’t scare them away, and they were getting ready to hurt us, then I would know.

BOY

But how would you know they were getting ready to hurt us?



GRANDMA

I would have to figure it out.

BOY

But Grandma, what if you just thought they were getting ready to but they weren’t? Would you still kill them?

GRANDMA

Boy, you ask too many questions.