When Your Gone

Sometimes I have dreams, I couldn't tell you what they mean
Till the point where I wake up at night and I scream
And I sit there dazed then I think to myself
How different my life would be if I still had your help
If I had you here there wouldn't be any tears
And I regret having the fear, in letting you know how much I really care
Because it's starting to really tear to the point where im pulling out me hair
I still remember the night we all was driving in the car
For a late night ride and we went pretty far
And then you told was what the doctor said you told us what he did
How he told you "Your just having slight migrains in your head"
But I knew that it was not completely true
because there was something different about you from the mom that I knew
and later on around christmas was when I found out the full extent of your sickness............It was cancer
The news hit me hard to the point I couldn't stand up
This was the time in my life where it got rough
You were back and forth, in and out the hospital for weeks at a time
and at first it was fine
But then it got to the point were I worried my mind
Thinking about you, worrying if my momma was fine
Months later, I thought it was time for you to tell the hospital see you later.....
but I guess I was wrong
But I guess I was right
Because you went back to the hospital that same night
But you never came back
And after that there's a crack the will never fill back
And no crazy glue or duck tape could ever fix that
And I would miss all the times that I would go to sleep with you in the bed everynight because I was too scared of mines
Or that day I played baseball and I struck out to end off the game...then I felt I was the blame
And I cried my little eyes feeling ashamed
You comformed me, telling me it was ok
What about dinosaurs? You knew they were my heart
I remember you taking me to the movies to see Jurassic Park
All the secrets that I told you becuase I knew you wouldn't tell
Or those late night ice cream stops at carvel
Or when you took us for a ride in your bus after work
Or you yelling at me for not washing my favorite shirt
Or the time I left the bathroom filled with clay sculpts
Then you washed your face with one of them thinking it was soap
Or the blue coffee mug that was used for drinking beers
I still got it on my shelf it's been sitting there for years
Or when we woke up in the morning always at the same time
Me for school and you for work right before sunshine
Mann, those was the days but now there living in the past
We all miss them, and we all enjoyed them while they last
But until that day comes and it will
We could sit back reminisce on the times and just chill
So until then, I will always rep you loud
Sit back and watch over me while I make you proud.