Big

Big - 10/12/08, 7:16 am

Ironically enough; this is the last page.
I looked back just now, expecting to see terrible things.
It actually wasn't that bad. A little crazy at times. I guess
it's gone now, I've dropped a few lines. Maybe I'm really
going backwards, degrading, fading. God I hope not. I feel
that I should say something meaningful but then what time would
that spare me? certainly not the brand I need; enough. Yup, it's
definitely gone. Too bad too, the symptoms still linger; the
messy room, unfinished puzzles, half-smoked cigarettes,
and an entire zip code of women who hate me. Ha! or maybe
it is I who hate. Very possible. Plausible even.    A god died
last month. Nobody knew his name until then. "who's that?"
they said. I was stunned. But then you can't expect sheep
to write Shakespeare...or spell it apparently. Who knows maybe
I can die someday too. And people will say "who's that?" and
someone, somewhere, will be stunned. Hmm...maybe it's not
gone after all. Just had some rust on her. That's good.
She keeps me ahead of the game. I would very much
like it if she came to change my sheets.

    eff - you - tea - eye - el - eye - tea - why?

Because I care? Not likely.
Typing this out I decided to omit the last few lines. It sums up to

I was          right. It  is  gone  after  all