MY HEART IS A VAGABOND

I was just re-reading one of my poems. It’s called, “My heart is a vagabond” and it was written right after I woke up. I’ll explain.

Right after the rape of my granddaughter, I was so shocked and stunned by everything that happened, that I shut down. I just went dead inside. I went numb. I never felt anything. I never smiled or laughed or cried. I never experienced any emotions.

I can’t recall writing about this either so I wanted to do so now…it felt important to get it down on paper. Well, for a whole year I was asleep. I just walked thru my life in a daze, a haze. It was like I knew it but didn’t care so I just stayed in the funk. No one else cared either…or even noticed. I was alone most of the time and there was no one to see what was going on in my life and question it.

Finally, after one full year, I woke up! I suddenly came to myself. I don’t know what happened or if something triggered it but to me it always felt like God put me in the funk for a whole year and when my year was up, he came back and said, “Okay, one year is enough. Wake up!” and I came to myself and knew who I was.

That’s when I wrote this poem, “My Heart Is A Vagabond.”

My heart is a Vagabond
Ruled by the tides.
It wanders,
Lusting for Adventure.

One more Adrenaline Rush
One more Amazing Sunset
One more teal-blue Ocean
To swim and splash,

A joyful exercise
Complete with Porpoises
Swimming in the background

My heart yearns
To feel everything
All at once
To experience every Season

It aches to know warmth
And laughter, Joy
And peace,
Glistening droplets
On a rose petal,
The soft fur of a new puppy
The kindness of strangers
And friends.

My heart won’t settle
For mediocrity
It strives for purpose
For dignity.

It longs to find
That fleeting moment
Of perfection,
To take it in
And cherish its beauty
Forevermore.