The Sargeant

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Mom always said
you were a good provider,
thats all that mattered to her,
the military life fit,
you both so well,
crammed into a small place,
told what to do everyday,
my living hell.
I was so afraid of you
as a child,
you looked at me
only with contempt,
was I someone that
didn't belong to you?
The silence in our house,
was chilling,
five children, but when the Sargeant
came home,we had
to be as quiet as a mouse.
I lost myself in reading,
at the age of nine,
I was reading adult novels,
I drowned out the silence of our house,
and myself.
Your hatred for your children,
was so harsh,
and so cruel.
Why didn't you love me?
Was I not pretty for you?
Was I not intelligent enough for you?
What was my fault that caused you,
to turn away from me with disgust?
Was it that I had green eyes and everyone in the
family had blue?
Did I remind you of your Mother
who deserted you at the age of two?
Or was it that you lost your mind
when you were a POW?
No one else could know,
because then your security
would be broken.
You were so silent,
You were so cold,
You were so angry,
nothing would appease you,
Now you are gone,
I still have no answers,
of why you could not cry,
why you did not try,
to love me as a child.