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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1575172-Im-gonna-kill-myself
by Kirk T
Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Dark · #1575172
fictional poem about the author committing debating suicide.
I'm Gonna Kill Myself - WARNING - The following text is sick, twisted, and downright awful. In some cases of depression, it can be known to bring about suicide. Please read at your own risk, and in a good positive mindstate. Forgive my fucked up mindstate as well. I can't help it. I think it's a brain disease or some shit. Anyways, enjoy.

I'm gonna kill myself, i'm still debatin,
in front of a baptist church, worshippin satan,
cock the gun, take the bullets out,
cock the gun, take the bullets out,
clip back in, safety off, thinkin,
wishin i could just magically shrink n',
disappear from a world that never wanted me,
but since thats not an option, i can see,
there's not many options for a soul lost like me,
suicide is an easy escape, so to be or not to be,
dead, in a gutter, with roaches clawin at my eyes,
at my funeral they all cry and read a bunch of lies,
about my life, choice pieces they picked out,
but the truth they dismiss, they leave it out,
because nobody cares about a suicidal loser,
so they twist shit to make it seem u weren't an abuser,
of drugs, sex, and sins, thought i was destined to win,
but i was wrong, raised to be the best, only to fail again,
now i see the light, the truth hidden from my sight,
that it's not gonna be ok, shit is not "all right"
its fucked up, and thats the way its gonna stay,
cause if my life is this fucked up its gotta be me,
there's nobody left to blame, nobody to go talk to the same,
so i'm ready to check out of this game,
take my quarters and just say fuck it all,
blow my brains out, splattered on my room wall,
no suicide note, more like a book, that will,
be compared to mein kompfe, cause i'll,
tell the truth the way i see it, thru my vision,
which is appalling to say the least, these images,
read the book and see the world through my mind's eye,
on second thought, that's probably a real bad idea,
cause it'd be like The Happening, a chain reaction,
mass suicide and hysteria, crazier than M. Jackson,
but right now i'm still debatin, smokin grits,
cleanin my gun, starin at the little bits,
of sand, and dust, caught in the chamber,
i just wanna make sure when it does go off, i can't be saved.
i'm gonna kill myself.
© Copyright 2009 Kirk T (ktrychel at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1575172-Im-gonna-kill-myself