Tales From Candyland

One day a few years back I had experienced something that was really hard to talk about. It was not until lately that I felt comfortable telling my story. I think it mainly was because I was afraid everyone would think I was loosing it and I was a little BONKERS.
         I was walking down FIFTH AVENUE one day just after PAYDAY. I was really worried and excited because I had figured that my boss MR. GOODBAR had made a terrible mistake in my check. I kept looking at the check to make sure it read what I thought it had. 100 grand is what it read, no matter how many times I would LOOK it came out the same. Come on now I have heard of a getting a windfall but come on NOW this is ridiculous no matter how you focus in on it.
         This is a WHOPPER I thought to myself. I headed straight for my SWEETART down at the KIT KAT and told her the GOODNEWS. She immediately started UNO shaking her MOUNDS. She became a bag of RED HOTS immediately. She cried as she said “OH HENRY you are my POWERHOUSE my BIG HUNK. No one deserves this more than you, after all you have been through, going down that ROCKY ROAD and all. Especially having to deal with that pair of FRUITIE TOOTIE’s you hang around with”. She always thought they were NERDS anyway. She never did like MIKE & IKE all that well. She always would SNICKER when they would screw up and drop their PIXY STIXs or anything else they touched. I have to admit they did have BUTTERFINGERS.
         I was in a CRUNCH for time, not knowing what to do. I decided to call my SEN SEN he always had COW TALES to tell, and seemed to be full of STARBURST feelings he would make things KRACKLE when he was on a roll. He said, “now LOOK you could become a LIFESAVER and become a SUGAR DADDY or even a JOLLY RANCHER but would that help you out? You do have that BABY RUTH to take care of you know.” He went on to ask,  “Are you from MARS? Not even on the MILKY WAY would that kind of thing happen even if it were the THREE MUSKITEERS. It would be a BIT ‘O’ HONEY if things like that would happen but get real.” He said.
M&M came in about that time and said, “Hey you MILK DUD let me get you a MALLO CUP of coffee. ROLO over here and sit your WHATCHAMACALLIT down. Show me that special TOOTSIE ROLL you do so well.” I instantly became a SLO POKE realizing that he was just making fun of me. “You guys are nothing but AIRHEADS I am going to BLACK JACKs where everyone is ABBA ZABBA most of the time and they will give me ZERO problems.
I picked up my DING DONG and drug my ZAG NUTS off down the street. I was making good time when I tripped across a pile of POP ROCKs. I felt foolish I should have been a SLO POKE I’m a real GOOBER. It was JUNIOR MINT who seen me fall and came to my aid. He handed me a CHICK o STICK to aid me up. I was right in front of CLARKE BAR and I was embarrassed to the max. Here I am with a CUP O GOLD and I can’t even walk. I should just go to WRIGLEY field and call it a day. I would have to wait a bit though I think I’m somewhat JUJUBES all I see is DOTS. I was standing leaned against the building when I stood watching CHARELSTON CHEW on a big CHUNKY HOT TAMALE it was a real WHOPPER. Some CROWS flew over about that time. They looked at each other and said, “Man he has GOOD N’ PLENTY of that I just wished we RAZZLE him into HERSHEY. I don’t know about you but I am tired of all that JUICY FRUIT.”
About that time the popular street group the RAISINETTS started singing their new hit “LAFFY TAFFY”. They said it was a great pleasure to present their writer CRACKER JACK they said they would do a new song from REESES PIECES called the SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS. It is from that movie PEARSONS SALTED NUT ROLL it seems they have won the PEANUT BUTTER CUP for this.
Well that is a day and the life here in Candyland. Till the next product strikes my fancy have a great day.