How did I not know

will i slosh through the mud and sand and ocean of my fears
or should i stop and rejoice in the sadness of my years

there is no sparkle
there is no sunshine
there is no watching snowflakes

avoid my eyes
avoid my stare
eyes glance,
eyes glare.

when i was little all dressed in tights
crawling beneath the kitchen table
red and black dress pressed and clean
I knew not of civil rights

I wrote of a war in the faraway lands
how did i know it is now where i stand.