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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Action/Adventure · #1688102
An interview with my wolfess ex-thief turned law officer. Dialogue form. Contest Entry
“Here we are in a rare interview with Zena, the legendary leader of the Wild Beasts.”

“Well we best make this interview of yours quick Mr. Lockwood. I have to go out on patrol soon.”

“So I take it that you actually go out on patrol with the other officers.”

“That is correct. The only time that I sit at a desk is when I’m filling out my reports. Every officer has to fill those things out.”

“Well what do you tend to do?”

“Do you mean on patrol or on a day-to-day basis?”

“On a day-to-day basis will do for now Miss, Miss… Um just what is your last name?”

“I don’t have a last name. In fact, Zena’s not even my real name.”

“Well what is your name?”

“I wouldn’t know. My parents died in an avalanche when I was about eight years old. After that I was kidnapped and forced to be a man’s slave, until I finally killed him and his men when I was twenty. I ate that bastard’s black heart and lungs just to let you know.”

“I can believe that Miss Zena…”

“Just call me Zena, Mister. Zena is all that I want to be called.”

“Well how did you come across that name anyways? To me that sounds a lot like Xena, the warrior princess of legend.”

“Well I am a warrior. ‘Eat ‘em Dead or Alive Zena’ they call me. I’ve killed more than five thousand outlaws by my calculations, with two hundred fourteen being the most I’ve killed in a twelve hour time limit. As for how I got my name, I stole a statue of a woman who had that name. The funny thing is, she looked exactly like me, from the black fur to her emerald-green eyes.”

“Well could you tell me how it is that you managed to kill over two hundred men in this twelve hour time limit?”

“Young man, I’m a thirty foot tall wolfess with diamond-hard claws and teeth that can tear through titanium like paper. Does that tell you how I deal with them?”

“But surely you couldn’t have just torn them all to pieces? I mean that would be incredibly difficult to do.”

“Maybe it would, if all of them were snakes or crocs. But as for those who are human-sized, I can fit close to a hundred of them inside of me, and still look good in a bathing suit.”

“And how is this even possible?”

“An old trick from when I was a thief, I can move things that are in my stomach around. Makes transporting prisoners easy to deal with.”

“But wouldn’t that kill them?”

“It won’t kill them, providing that they have a safety pill inside of them.”

“And just what is a ‘Safety Pill’?”

“It’s a pill that one takes as a child, as it prevents one from getting ticks, fleas, and lice. It also has protection against hydrochloric acid, especially the sort that’s found in stomachs. Basically, if a person is swallowed by me, or another swallower, an amniotic-like sac forms around the person, protecting them from harm. It’s very useful in the business that I run.”

“And what would that business be?”

“Running the ‘Hungry Wolf and Snake’. It’s a tasting house that I happen to run with the help of my employees.”

“And what goes on there?”

“Have you heard of those places that have those tables that have women laying on them covered with food?”


“Well it’s sort of like that, only the clients can enjoy the taste of the woman. You see, carnivore and meat-eating omnivores happen to have an instinct to taste human fresh. Tasting houses are safe places to deal with that instinct. There’s only one real main rule, no hot meat is allowed in the place.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s like drinking and driving, the results can be fatal. I’ve lost more than a few friends due to hot meat, usually because someone wants revenge against me.”

“Revenge for what?”

“A variety of reasons, though one did it because I got him kicked off of the force twenty years previously, as he abused his authority when he tried to kill a work-con that worked for me proposed to his son. She was a nice woman too, but he didn’t like the match, or the fact that she was a thief. He held a grudge against me, especially since I gave him a scar across his stomach. The hot meat he smuggled into the place caused the deaths of two of my grandson’s closest friends, a woman who was going to be his wife, and the man who was like a brother to him. Needless to say, I took great pleasure killing him when he tried to mess with me after I took his son as collateral when some of his guards messed up the place.”

“You’ve been in a lot of fights haven’t you?”

“That’s the truth. It’s just the hazards of the occupations that I’ve had. Most of the fights I’ve been involved in were with Outlaws, though in my younger days a few were with the police, security guards, City guard, and, on occasion, with Wild Beast officers. I was really wild in my youth, robbing museums and killing Outlaws left and right. However, something happened and I changed.”

“And what was that?”

“I found love. A young fox, who had just turned of age, took one look at me and said that she had the same story, from her parents being killed, to have been raped, and being a thief. She could have gone down the road I’d been on, but someone had saved her. In turn she saved me.”

“So, were you and this woman…”

“… Lovers? Of course we were. I have nothing against men in general, but when it comes to sexual matters, being raped for twelve years has an effect on you. Any man I had sex with was blindfolded and depending on who they were, was dealt with afterwards, be it by robbing them, breaking their nose, or, in the case of outlaws, by killing them. Women however, I have no problems having sex with them, no bad memories. My first time was something of an accident, as I had a sore throat at the time, and the proprietor of the mating house I’d gone to thought that I was a man, as I was quite tall for a wolf even back then. Needless to say, both I and the woman were surprised, but she was kind enough to help me out, as she had plenty of experience with having sex with other woman. Needless to say, I enjoyed it, and after that, it was women for me when I had the urge.”

“Well you’ve told me before that you lead the Wild Beasts now. What is it that you do?”

“The Wild Beasts do a mixture of things really. Mostly we perform search and rescue, track down lost travelers, hunt down fugitives from the law, and of course, fight and break up Outlaw gangs. My specialty is taking down the really big ones, especially those run by crocs and snakes. Kill the leaders and the rest of the group will usually either surrender or run away. After that we take their captives and try to reunite them with their families.”

“So speaking of families, do you have any yourself?”

“I do have a husband, but Crog’s always on the move, as he hooked up with a band of Nomads some years back. He’s a good man, saved me from a lifetime of jail, and ridicule. Then there are my lovers and their families, always nice to see them, especially those who don’t live with me. Then there are my cousins, the eldest of which I saved from a damned rapist over forty years ago. I made sure that that bastard paid for what he did to her, with his life.”

“I take it that you don’t like rapists.”

“You got that right. I lost my childhood because of one. If he and his men hadn’t been around I probably would have been an honest, if large, wolf Nomad, as a group of them had adopted me, before he showed up. That man did terrible things to me, and made me do terrible things. Hell, there are times that I can’t even sleep properly because of what happened, as I have the blood of over a hundred innocent men on my hands, as I was forced to kill them, or I’d die from the venom that he produced. It wasn’t pretty. However, I took my revenge, and killed him, and his men. I ripped that bastard snake open and ate his heart and lungs, and let me tell you this; I don’t feel any remorse for what I did to him, or to other Outlaws.”

“You know, I asked you this question earlier, but we seemed to have been distracted a bit. So again I ask you: What do you do on a day-to-day basis?”

“Generally I get up, take a bath, get dressed, have some breakfast, and then I head to the ‘Hungry Wolf and Snake’. There I tend to lie down on some cushions and keep an eye on things, maybe participate in a few plays or acts that we have for the clients to enjoy while they are waiting to be served, and talking to them. After all, I want to know how the clients are doing, how they like the shows, the service, and so forth. Occasionally I spend some personal time with some of my favorite employees, whom I enjoy the taste of. Sometimes I hire someone, and, on rare occasions, sometimes I fire someone. As long as the equipment is well maintained, such as the pipes, pools, and such, the place practically runs itself, and there is always a profit made every year, and supplies and money is always donated to the building, sometimes as part of a credit system I have. Anyways, after work I go home, have supper, get cleaned off, enjoy some quality time with my lovers, and then I go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day.”

“Well what about patrols? How often do you go out on them?”

“For the local area, it’s about once a week, to check on things. But for me to go out further, such as with the patrol that I’m about to go on, it takes the reports of large Outlaw band, who number more than twenty people, to get me to leave the city, as they are incredibly dangerous for travelers.”

“Well in that case, we best let you go on your way. Good luck with your mission.”

“Thank you Mr. Alockwood1. I hope that you enjoy your stay on Planet Animalus. I hope that you find plenty of stories for your readers back on Earth-Two.”

“Thank you Zena and I hope to see you again at some point in the future.”

“I hope to see you as well young man. You take care of yourself.”

“I will madam. I plan on it.”

Word Count 1865

An entry for the 7/10 "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

For more information about Zena, check out the following items.

 Zena's Bio  (18+)
The biography of my ex-thief Zena, a wolf anthro
#1686029 by BIG BAD WOLF Feels Lucky

 Planet Animalus Book Summaries  (E)
Folder containing the summaries for my Planet Animalus Series.
#1662912 by BIG BAD WOLF Feels Lucky
© Copyright 2010 BIG BAD WOLF Feels Lucky (alockwood1 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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