A girl dealing with the accidental death of her best friend.
|Darkness filled my mind as I drove home from the barn. It was late and as black as pitch out side. My headlights barely made a difference with the fog that hung like a thick ominous curtain of white. As I drove I realized that I should probably be a little cautious as the vision was so poor through the foggy night. I think that I spend too much time out in the barn when I should be hanging out with friends. Then again it’s nice to have some time with myself. I had friends that understood that and I loved the fact that they didn’t judge me. As I sped along the road thinking carefully about the day, I usually took the time to do this while I drove but soon I found that the fog was too bad for me to get side tracked. |
Clearing my mind enough to concentrate on the road and to find the shoulder I felt as if something bad was going to happen. I wasn’t really very used to driving in the dark when it was foggy so I took special care not to go over the speed limit. As I drove it seemed to get foggier, if that were even possible. Then I saw it… at first I wasn’t sure what it was but by the time I had even thought to slow down it was too late. The truck shuddered as it hit something with a sickening thud. I immediately pulled over to the shoulder a little ways ahead of the spot where I hit something and turned off the engine, leaving the lights on. In the rear view mirror I saw it… the heap of dark clothing on the ground. I sat there for a minute longer feeling as though I might faint. Taking a few deep breaths I finally got the courage to get out of the truck and check it out.
Slowly swinging the door open and stepping out and I made my way over to the heap. Kneeling down I saw that it was a body. Who would be out here at this hour? I thought as I examined the body closer. The face that was hidden by his shaggy hair was familiar. Shockingly familiar at that, pale as paper but I had seen it before…when it was full of life. Now it was pasty with a bit of bright red oozing out of the corner of the mouth. I couldn’t believe it… it was Blake. I had just hit one of my best friends. There was something about the way his blue-green eyes shone in the dim light that made me thing of the times we had all spent together. Then they glazed over I was surprised to watch as my best friend died in front of me. It couldn’t have happened to me? I was the innocent one, no one would have expected that I would end up hitting my best friend with a truck. I mean at the speed I was going no wonder he was dead! “Blake, no, Blake can you hear me?” I cried into the pale face. Nothing, I couldn’t stand to kneel there looking into those blank lifeless eyes. Moments ago they would have been full of life.
I stood shaking like a leave in the wind, I could barely walk back to the truck let alone drive. As I sat with my head between my knees with my truck door open I heard a siren coming. My mind buzzed with the out comes of the situation. Though I had little time to think I did get in the fact that… my best friend was dead. I sobbed as it finally hit me. Was I going to go to jail? Emergency officials got out of the vehicles and walked toward me. I didn’t want to explain I was already shaking enough. I didn’t want to have to relive what I had just lived through. “Excuse me are you okay?” An officer asked.
“I’m fine,” lies I didn’t know what to do. “Or well no I’m not okay actually.”
“I didn’t expect you would be seeing as you just hit a boy,” the officer answered, “May I ask what happened?”
“I was driving the speed limit and keeping an eye on the road… but being so foggy I didn’t see him until it was too late. Oh, please don’t tell me Blake’s dead,” I cried.
“Well the paramedics will be able to answer that. You’re sure that you were going to speed limit?” he asked.
“Yes because it was fifty. The visibility is so horrible out here at this hour,” she answered.
“Yes it is,” he shone a flashlight in my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’ll be okay…relatively. A-am I going to jail?” I worried. I didn’t know if this would be considered murder or just an accident. Wait…what was he doing in the middle of the lane anyways? Suicide…NO!
“No, no, we’ll have to do some investigation as to why he might have been in the middle of the road. I mean it’s obvious that you didn’t veer off the road because there would be tracks. I’m sure that he was standing in the middle of the road… Did you know this young man?” the officer asked after he had explained things.
“Yes, he was one of my best friends,” I sighed. This was all very nerve racking I didn’t want to be there anymore.
“Wow, this must be hard for you then. Did he ever show any signs of depression?” he asked.
“No, he was always very happy,” I answered. The night went on. I nearly died myself when I saw him covered completely in a sheet and loaded onto the ambulance. Dead, as dead as dead could be. I couldn’t believe that I was responsible for this whole thing. I had killed my best friend. As soon as I was released I drove home slowly. It was the longest drive I could have imagined partly because it was foggy.
When I got home I sat on my bed and cried. Both of my parents were at work so they didn’t see me. On the other hand I wish they were there, at least I wouldn’t be alone. I didn’t mind though because it was nice to just cry without having people ask you why you were crying. I wasn’t about ready to forget any of this so I decided that I’d get out the old Box of Memories. The three of us kept our memories in the box and in it was our scrap book where we would write about their adventures together. It was a long time since I’d actually took the time to actually go through it and read the entries.
The book brought back a lot of memories that where really great…that was until I started to notice that in Blake’s entries he would miss spell something that he clearly knew how to spell properly. Thinking back to something I had read a long time ago I decided that maybe it was a secret message. Pulling out my journal I started to go through his entries and pull all of the misspelled words the letters that were wrong I’d write down in order. Once I had down all of this with all of his entries I put it all together. It turns out that he was actually dealing with something that he had kept hidden all of this time. I guess he was really misunderstood and we were clueless as to what he was going through. His parents were in the middle of a break up… and I didn’t know what he was going through because my parents were still together.
It was all a big shock. I didn’t know that he was at the point of deep depression. Seeing this I burst into another round of tears until my phone rang. It was Jessie; she had just received the news that he was dead. “Jessie, I-I’m so sorry,” I cried into the receiver.
“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault the weather was really bad,” Jessie answered.
“I know but I still feel as though I could have stopped it,” I sobbed even louder. Jessie sighed I could tell that she had been crying or was about to cry.
“Rae we should be together tonight, do you mind if I come over? It’ll be good for both of us if we weren’t alone,” she asked.
“Yeah, okay I’ll try not to die myself until you get here,” I sobbed.
“Rae don’t do that to yourself! I know it hurts probably like a shot through the heart but still you need to … ah never mind I’ll be right over,” she hung up. I hit the off button on the phone and sank to my floor and laid there. I was exhausted with crying, I hadn’t realized but crying was hard on the body. Laying there I fell asleep. Not a pleasant sleep, might I say for the fact that images of Blake and Jessie and I were playing like a slide show. Even a video clip or two, there was one where I took Blake trail riding the look on his face when I first introduced him to my horse was priceless. And I already missed that goofy smile. The door bell shook me from the dream. I got up groggily and got the door. Jessie stood in the doorway with two gallons of chocolate peanut butter ice cream. I began to sob once again remembering what had happened and why she was here.
“Jessie, I already miss him, I already forget what his voice sounds like,” I cried. Jessie awkwardly hugged me with the ice cream in her arm. She then went to my kitchen and scoop us both big bowls.
“We’ll pop in those goofy DVD’s that we made. You know the ones for Halloween and summer time and stuff,” Jessie answered. I nodded at took my ice cream from her. We made our way to the living room and she got the home videos out and popped one in. “You know you really did take that communications course seriously didn’t you?” Jessie laughed as the menu came up that I had added.
“Yeah it really helped that you and Blake were always ready to help with my videos,” I said. They were, Jessie put the DVD in that had my videos on it that had all of us in them. They weren’t the greatest but they were still really funny and helped at times like these. Jessie click on the first video of my class that was just a short minute film with a few lines of dialogue and some actions. Mine wasn’t the greatest like I said but it was still really cool. My title sequence consisted of Blake’s attempts at writing a theme song and my artistic fail at a title. “The Beautiful ramblings” was what it was called so it was pretty much just random questions, with few answers.
“What is normal?” Camera jostle to Jessie.
“Normal is a uniform state in which we fit in. Mind you normal is different for everyone. Is Rae normal?” Cut to me.
“I am not normal. But I am insane!” I giggled. Cut back to Blake with camera jostle.
“What is sanity or insanity? Could I be going insane right now?” he made a strange face. Pan to me.
“Sanity is the mental state that someone is in. If you are insane then you do not have a good mental state. Or your mental state is unstable,” I threorized.
“Do you like cheese?” Jessie asked in the background. Confused look coming from me and Blake and end credits.
“Okay so maybe we could have cut that part out,” Jessie laughed.
“No way that was the best part,” I insisted as we watched the next video I made. This was my crappy music video that Blake insisted I do. Mind you the song was like two minutes and so was the video. Mainly consisting of Blake singing and playing guitar and Jessie poorly acting, made it a little funny. After that there was my longer ten minute video that was similar to a soap opera. We all played like three different characters which made it even better.
Of course I started to cry at the end because Blake said that that had to be his favourite one. “Jessie I don’t think this was a good idea. Maybe we should just put in Titanic or something,” I cried.
Author's Note: I honestly don't know if i could continue on with this one. I've currently put this on the back burner and have forgotten about it, personally i love the idea of her killing her best friend by accident but it gets kind of depressing. Not to mention i can't think of a good enough plot line to continue it with. If you have any suggestions that wold be great.