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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1735465-Flippy-LOLs
Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1735465
Taken from a couple of internet threads, common Filipino jokes (and blunders) in English.
- It's now or nevermind.
- I am requesting you to cease and decease...
- Are you a PS game? Because I hope you're not TEKKEN!
- Please don't make fond of me.
- I'm only human nature.
- That's what I'm talking about it.
- I don't give a dumb! [damn]
- One of these days is not like the other.
- The feeling is actual.
- For all intense and purposes.
- I ran into some errands.
- It's as brand as new.
- Please me alone!
- So... what's a beautiful girl like you?....
- I can't take it anymore of this!
- Can't you just cut me some slacks?
- All of a suddenly...
- C'mon! Let's get it on with it!
- When it rains, it's force. [Rain is a force of nature therefore When it rains, it is force ;D
- The more the manyer.
- Burn the bridge when you get there. [of course, how can you burn if you're not there.]
- C'mon let's join us!
- Are you joking my leg?
- It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore.
- What are friends are for? [yeah, what are friends, what are for? therefore what are friends are for?]
- You can never can tell.
- You're barking at the wrong dog.
- Where'd you came from?
- First and for all
- *Ring* Hello... for a while, please hang yourself...
- I can't take it anymore of this!
- I couldn't care a damn!
- what's your next class before this?
- nothing in this world is perfect except the word change.
- I'm very iterated! [annoyed ;D]
- Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
- It's spilled milk under the bridge.
- *Ring* Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
- Well well well. Look do we have here!
- Stop the meaning of this!
- What is those? O.O
- Can you imagine to that!
- Roll the dies X-0
***
Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
Liturgy - what comes after litur F
July - are you telling the truth?
Effort - where efflanes land
***
Host: Miss Cebu, what is your edge over the other beauty contest finalists?
Miss Cebu (very proud): Mabuhay! My edge is 18 years old! That’s all thank you!

***
A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, "What are Nitrates?
The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, in motels, nitrates are higher than day rates!"
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