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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1766865-A--Risky-Purchase
by dean
Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #1766865
a farce regarding something that everyone attains without thinking about it first.
A RISKY PURCHASE



What if I were to tell you that a certain "purchase" we all desire to have is one of the most poorly researched things on the market and we do little in the way of any thought on why we would do this, yet most of us end up having one. For example: you want to buy a new car. The first thing you do is look at a nice colorful brochure. Then you take the car out for a spin around the block, and if you decide to buy it you get an owners manual and a maintenance schedule. On top of that you usually get a ten year warranty. None of this is available on this common product,.Yet we all want to have one.

Let's say you need a new toaster. Do you quickly run to the nearest appliance store and grab the first one on the shelf? No. You at least ask about the price and look it over. Do some research. Even a pair of shoes need to be tried on to see if they fit. I've known some people who spend weeks just looking at shoes before they buy them.Yet this product I'm talking about has a mind-boggling customer satisfaction rating of 99.99%. How can that be? As far as I know no consumer guide magazine has ever rated this product. What I'm talking about?

A baby.

To discuss this let's, for the sake of an argument, call a baby a product one can purchase at the local hospital. They have a nursery where one can look at all the different models, you can look at them, pick them up and pinch them and just decide what you want. The nurse will tell you which ones are the noisiest or the healthiest and you can decide for yourself. However, most people make their decision merely on how cute they are. This is ridiculous. People should at least inquire of maintenance costs, guarantees and so on. Again, one should do some research.



Before spending so much money on this purchase ask other people what they think. However,asking friends why they had a baby often leads to inane answers like, "Because they are so cute" or, "We like babies." After getting such trivial answers from friends you and your wife should go to the library to see what a consumer's guide has to say.

Almost all products such as cars, refrigerators and even toasters, are given a customer rating, but not babies. Leafing through a half dozen consumer magazines nothing can be found. One magazine even rated baby diapers! Frustrated you ask the librarian but she says she has never heard of any magazine ratings on babies. Your friends keep saying they are fun to have but they never mention the high maintenance costs nor the lack of any guarantees. Some of them just say, "Well, they are fun to show off." Once in a while you may find an article on "How to change a baby's diapers." but that is not a reason to have a baby. You need real reasons.

Even after the lack of research material let's say you decide to get one anyway. Everyone in the neighborhood has a baby so you don't want to be the only couple without one. Deciding it was time, you go to the local hospital and browse through the nursery looking at all the different models. A pretty nurse in a sparkling white uniform comes over saying, "Is there anything I can do for you?" Trying to be polite you say, "No, we're just browsing." Your wife whispers to you, "Some of them are so expensive." The nurse,eager to make a sale says, "If you come tomorrow we have some new models coming in."

Finally, ready to decide, you ask the receptionist to see a salesman. Pointing to a room down the hall called, "The Sales Department" a smartly dressed man comes out saying, "What can I do for you folks?"

You tell him you are interested in having a baby and he says, "Well, come to my office and we can talk turkey."

The kind gentleman, dressed in an expensive suit, brings you a cup of coffee and says, "Just which model are you interested in?"

Sitting in his office, the walls covered with so many pictures of beautiful babies, you are both giddy in making such a big decision. Nervously you say, "First, do you have a brochure we can look at.?"

Leaning back on his chair, his feet on the desk, he says, "No, we don't have brochures, just look at the nursery. We just got some new models in so take your time looking."



Fidgeting, you say, "We don't have much cash. Do you have any kind of payment plan?"

Laughing, he says, "No, it's cash on delivery, no deals. What do you think this is, a used car lot?"

"What about a rebate?"

Again, he says laughing, "No, no, all prices are fixed."

Finally, taking the plunge, you say, "Okay, we decided to buy one."

Pulling out a contract he says, "Yeah, this will be a good buy for you. Just sign here, here and initial here."

Still nervous you say, "Ummm, can we try one out for a few days?"

He says, "No, we can't do that. Buy it and it's your baby."

Still apprehensive, you say, "Do we get an owners manual or a maintenance schedule?"

Looking impatient he says, "Look, we will give you a sheet of paper telling you what to feed it the first few months. That's it."

Nervously signing the contract and with making such a big decision you say,"Okay, but do you have any kind of recall program in case anything goes wrong?"

Almost falling off his chair the salesman says, "Boy, you folks want everything. Once you leave this hospital it's your baby. No refunds."

Giving you a copy of the contract, looking at his watch, he says, "I have some other customers. Come back tomorrow and you can pick it up after we prep it."

"Wait, what about some accessories?" you ask.

Pointing down the hall he says, "There's an accessory shop on the left. They have lots of goodies."

As you leave his office he yells back, "By the way, you just got a good deal. We have the best prices in town."

As you and your wife go home, nervous with excitement, you can't wait to pick up your new purchase even though you both know it is one of the riskiest products one can buy.

So why do people do this? No one seems to know why but everyone wants to have one. The only practical use I can see is one can take it around to your friends saying, "See, this is my new baby." You take care of it for some 18 years just hoping it will survive. You spend endless amounts of money maintaining them and nothing is guaranteed they will succeed. Talk about a risky venture! Would you buy an expensive car without testing it first? Would you bu a suit without trying it on? I sure wouldn't. Even something as simple as a pencil one looks at the price and checks if it includes the eraser.

What's more is scientists have been studying this phenomena for decades. Some of the most brilliant scientists in the world are baffled. How can people make such a purchase without any research? One prominent scientist, a Nobel prize winner said, "I've done studies and surveys for years and I still can't find the answer." It puzzles everyone. Women can spend hours, days just looking at dresses. But a baby? People just say, "Let's have a baby."

Now, here is the real surprise: After taking a survey around the country, the results were astounding. The survey asked about customer satisfaction both on a new car and a baby.

The results were mind boggling.to say the least. Most all the participants rated the car at 50 to 70 percent satisfaction while babies were rated at an amazing 99.99 percent satisfaction.

This is truly baffling. There must be something we are missing in our calculations, some unknown factor. I wish I knew. Do you?



© Copyright 2011 dean (dean at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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