It Happens

I inhaled deeply on the cigarette I had just lit up and let the thick smoke envelope my lungs and calm me down. My heart rate was still beating a mile a minute and I could still feel the anger wanting to explode out of me, but I was able to control it once I had one of these poisoning my body. That’s the thing with smoking though isn’t it? Once you get hooked it becomes the lesser of two evils. Either let me smoke and slowly kill myself or let me kill the bitch that’s just told my mum she has cancer. How ironic that hearing that news made me want to come and smoke though.

As soon as those thoughts entered my head I was throwing my cigarette down and silently cursing the world. Then the rain started. I didn’t have a fucking coat on. I’d spent half an hour curling my hair that morning because I knew I’d be seeing Harry later on that day. My make up wasn’t waterproof. Did I mention I didn’t have a coat? Oh and to top it off, I’d just found out my mum had cancer.

I looked up into the grey sky and angrily stepped backwards, trying to stay a bit dry by the wall. It wasn’t working, obviously as this was just not my day. I looked around the hospital entrance and wondered why on earth I’d agreed to come here today. My one Saturday off from work and I’d gone to the hospital with my mum, who apparently had cancer. Oh joy.

I knew my forehead had furrowed into a wrinkle of angry thoughts that would cost me thousands of pounds to smooth out when I was older, but I didn’t care. I didn’t even care that my lips had formed a pathetic and probably ugly looking pout, nor did I care that they didn’t have lip gloss on. I just wanted to scream and shout and punch something and - 

“I’ll be two ticks, love.”

My short attention span was suddenly pulled towards a shiny black car that had pulled up in front of me. A woman around the same age as my mum had just got out of the passenger door and was jogging into the hospital. Another one bites the dust, I thought miserably.