I am just Me

I wish you could see
what i hold deep inside
i’ll never be good enough
it will always be a fight

i know about your past
i know it was rough
you shut off the world
so now you are tough

you dont know compassion
its always been gone
a pat on the back
doesnt last very long

let me tell you now
how my life has been
im certainly not perfect
we all have our sins

abuse from the start
not a care in the world
and feeling all alone
my heart starts to unfold

so many loud screams
and cries out for help
wanting and wishing
but this is how i dealt

now why cant you see
what im trying to be
everything you want
but i start losing, me.

im working so hard
i wish you only knew
but it seems in your eyes
its never right for you

i start to do right
then at me, you fling
“what if you fail”
why bother say anything?

not those words exactly
but you mine as well have
everything i worked for
you sat there and just laughed

“dont you see im helping?”
“why cant you think it through”
there’s a reason why i left
im tired of never being you.

now tell me, why do i try
to make you so proud
when clearly it wont work
cause you have that doubt

im not the straight A kid
nor am i the brightest
but my heart is filled
right to the highest

full of smiles and love
thats just who i am
empathetic and loving
this is where i stand

i’ve given my time
my energy and love
make someone feel special
giving them that white dove

filled with that peace
through emails or the phone
show them someone cares
and they’re not so alone

im starting to realize
it will always be this way
im sorry that i failed you
theres nothing more i can say

i will do this for myself
no longer needing you
you dont have to agree
nor do u have to approve

you will never understand
i wish you only knew
but please open your eyes
because i am not you.

someday though for you
god i wish you could see
who your daughter really is
who i really am, just me.