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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1779694-insomnia
Rated: E · Article · Other · #1779694
what to do when you cant sleep?
So the rest of the world is tucked up in bed and asleep, but here I am at 3am more awake than I was at lunchtime. This happens to me so often now that I don't know why I don't just pack in my day job and switch to living nights! In fact Ive taken a night job to help me out but that just seems to make matters worse when I have to be at my day job, luckily I only work one full day and the rest of the time its afternoons which I'm fine with. If you have ever been to the supermarket at 3am then you will know that this can be a bonus - the tills are empty except for the bored workers who would rather be anywhere but at work most likely tucked up in bed fast asleep.
And so I find myself watching films that I wouldn't normally watch, reading a great deal and attempting to write although some days this just feels impossible and I find myself revising the same piece of work without really adding to it, in some cases editing it down so it is even shorter than it was before I began while listening to some soothing music in the hope it will help me become tired.
Ive tried anti-depressants, alcohol, going for exercise, not eating after 6pm, avoiding caffeine altogether but nothing seems to help. The anti-depressants just make me act like a zombie without helping me sleep, the alcohol works but makes me more tired the next day. In fact some of these things just make me more agitated and more alert. I've tried other measures too but they all just seem a waste of time and /or money.
I find it's worse when I know that I have to get up early as when I finally do get to sleep I am plagued with waking up every 20 minutes, or else I sleep in so late that I've missed whatever appointment I was supposed to be up for usually the hairdressers. The great thing is that I am finally able to write with a little more clarity than I could have ten years ago.
My family seem to think that its a choice that I am awake all night. I wish it was. The only time I do get to sleep is when I've been on the go for thirty six hours plus then I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, sleep for a few hours in the early evening and wake up at midnight but then I'm awake till after dawn or another twenty four hours plus. I've had warnings at a previous job for falling asleep at work but luckily its very rare i sleep in for work my body seems to have a built in clock for waking up just in time but as well as an alarm clock i generally have somebody at home wake me up too so its a fail safe system.
I hate not being able to sleep although it does have its benefits and I'm dreading having children as i know that what precious sleep I am able to get now will be even less with a newborn.

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