The Worst Story You Will Ever Read

Freddie is a clown. He hates his job, and the other clowns and his boss hate him. Why he still works there is an unsolved mystery.

One day, Freddie got a call for a party. The family was filthy rich and the children were known to be brats by past experiences with the Clown Company. Freddie wasn't thrilled for this assignment, but he agreed to be the clown anyway.

Freddie prepped himself for clown duty in the clean company bathroom. He put on his suit, boots, gloves, make-up, nose, everything. He grew bored while in the bathroom and decided to trash it. He clogged the toilets with rubber chickens, wrote on the walls with the clown make-up, took a massive deuce in the urinal, and to top it all off, he wrote a note blaming the mess on his  business rival, goodie goodie two-shoes Aaron Juice.

Once Freddie was done with the bathroom mishap, he realized he had 20 minutes to get to the snobby house. The house was 10 minutes away, and he realized he had more time to kill. He figured another company prank would be overkill, so he decided to mess with the bakery across the street.

The bakery has a marijuana garden in the basement of it. People always assumed it was a Mafia, but the Clown Company knew it wasn't. Luckily, the bakery was busy, so Freddie knew this was going to end well. He found a secret entrance to the basement in the rear end of the building. This was perfect, so he sneaked in through there with gasoline, fireworks, and matches.

The next thing any customer knew, they saw a clown run across the street out the window, and then they exploded. Freddie watched this all go down from the safety of his car... smoking weed.

Freddie baked in the company parking lot for a good half-an-hour, obviously making himself late to the party he was suppose to be clowning up. Little did he know, the family called his boss asking where the clown was. The boss wasn't surprised to hear Freddie wasn't at the party yet, and even told the snobby mommy that. Snobby mommy wasn't impressed.

The boss was so pissed, he wanted to piss away his troubles away in the company urinal in the company bathroom. Once he saw the bathroom, he nearly had a stroke. When he found out who made the mess, he wanted kill himself.

The boss immediately climbed up to the company roof, threatening to jump off in an obnoxious manner. Freddie heard him yelling from his baking spot. He thought his boss was a bird. Freddie started screaming "Birdie! Birdie! Birdie! Come down here! I need a friend!" The boss was confused, and looked down. He saw Freddie, stoned out of his mind, screaming at him.

"Freddie!?" The boss screamed down.

"You know my name?" Freddie responded. "Why birdie talk but no fly?"

"Shut up! Why aren't you at the party?!" Boss belted.

"...What?" Freddie was confused.

"The party!! You were suppose to go to a party to be a clown for snot-nosed brats!!"

"...This is messed up! This bird is TALKING to me."

The boss snapped when he heard Freddie still thought he was a bird. He went crazy and basically had a seizure on the roof. After a few moments of him screaming and making animal noises, the boss tumbled off the roof. He, unfortunately, died when he hit the concrete. Freddie walked over and took a look at the gory corpse of his boss. He looked like he was about to cry. Aaron Juice recognized this and confronted Freddie about it. "Freddie, what's wrong?" Freddie sniffled and gathered himself to answer Aaron. "Aaron...That's not a bird." Aaron, confused, walked away.

About 20 minutes later, Freddie realized the bird was his boss and did a happy dance. Then he realized he had the party to clown up. He stumbled to his car and drove the 10 minutes to the house. He hit an old lady.

When he arrived, people were outside, waiting for the clown. He came out, and did his whole "I'm Freddie the Clown. Here's a pie!" spiel. People didn't care to hear that. People were pissed there. There were babies crying. Kids were frightened that his eyes looked weird. The parents sent a letter to the company saying he smelled like weed.

However, Freddie wasn't bothered by any dissatisfied customers. He experienced a day messing with the company, stealing weed from a bakery, smoking weed, talking to a bird, seeing his boss die, and hitting pedestrians. Freddie couldn't of asked for a better day.