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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1790948-Mists-of-Apalia-Chapter-3-1465-words
Rated: E · Chapter · Fantasy · #1790948
(1465 words) A celebration in the village. Second draft, Please Review!!
Please review this chapter, any and all comments welcomed, this is my second draft and I would like to know if anything else could be improved. Thanks in advance.

Chapter 3: Celebrations


The story so far: Airianna daughter of the murdered king and queen was rescued from the massacre that saw her entire family slaughtered. Three years have passed and she along with her closest friend and rescuer have formed a rebellion. Equipped with information of a shipment the false king is expecting, plans have been made to thwart his plans to take over the Northern kingdoms.

(1465 words)


It was time to celebrate; Faith glanced out the window of Airianna’s tent, the excitement in the air was palpable as the finishing touches were applied. Fresh flowers had been strewn around the tents and caravans, their heady aroma mixing with the delectable scents of roasting meat, garlic and red wine sauce.

The beat of drums pulsed through the air and the jovial notes of a pan pipe conjoined to form an energetic rhythm that commanded the soul to dance.

Faith turned back to the mirror as Airianna finished securing a dainty necklace for her.
‘There’ Airianna said with a cluck of pride ‘you look perfect Faith, not even Tah’lon can fail to notice tonight’
Faith roller her eyes and ignored the comment ‘sure he can’ she thought. She stood up and allowed Airianna to sit before the small mirror and began brushing her hair out.

‘You had better make a move soon, before Veronica sinks her talons into him’ Airianna continued.

‘You know me better than anyone Airianna, and you also know I don’t need a man, nor will I go about parading myself to pin Tah’lon down’
‘ I bet you wouldn’t mind if Tah’lon pinned you down though,’ countered Airianna with a wicked grin.

Faith gasped with feigned outrage and swiped at her playfully as they both laughed.

‘I think you should wear your hair down’ said Faith changing the subject
Airianna nodded in agreement and let the subject of Tah’lon drop.

Faith continued to brush Airianna’s hair allowing her thoughts to wonder. They had always been closeness between her and Tah’lon, right from when they were small children but while her feelings had grown into something more, he cared for her only as his closest friend.
Airianna had always been privy to Faiths inner feelings and she had confessed to Faith that she wanted nothing more than to have the two of them together.

She pushed her thoughts aside and chatted idly with the princess as they finished getting ready. Though their supplies were meager when the two emerged from the tent later Faith was sufficiently happy with her appearance.
Dressed in flowing layers of crimson silk and golden brocade her hair had been swept into a pile of ebony curls laced with tiny red wild flowers from the forest.

Airianna dressed in her favorite white lace gown, broke away from Faith with a smile and went to speak to Greyonya by the cooking fires.

Faith ignored the looks she drew as she walked through the camp. She was well aware of the effect she had on most men, and some women, but she cared not for their attention.

There was only one face she sought in the sea of people dancing and swirling before her.
The one person, who much to her consternation, and Airianna’s amusement, seemed wholly unaffected by her.

As she approached the centre of the village where the celebration was in full swing she was greeted by the joyful sight of the village in celebration.
The wagons had been gathered in a loose circle as protection from the wind and small fires were dotted here and there for warmth. The band sat in a cluster to the right of the villagers who were merrily dancing to their infectious tune.

She walked over to where the band was seated, Quill sat in the centre playing his guitar. He glanced up as Faith approached and tipped his head in greeting before pointing his chin to the far side of the dancers to one of the small fires.

Dropping a curtsy by way of thanks she headed towards the fireside. She skirted the crowd of dancing men and women, they moved in rhythm with the drums stamping upon the ground and throwing their arms in the air with a joyful cry. She felt her body reacting to the music and she skipped a little on her way past.

Tah’lon sat by the flickering flames of the small fire, toasting sweetmeats for the children who had crowded about him.
Faith smiled at the sight and casually sat beside him, close enough to feel the warmth of his skin against her side without touching him.

Illnya, who was seated across the fire immediately moved to sit closer Faith.
‘You’ll never guess what Quill gave me today!’ she said.

Her blue eyes were alive with excitment and she absently tossed a stand of blond hair away from her face.
She leaned in conspiratorially ‘a bow!' her smile grew wider 'He promised me a real quiver next time he goes to the towns'.

Tah’lon shook his head and leaned towards Illnya, brushing Faiths arm as he did so. She shivered ever so slightly at the contact.

‘And what if Greyonya finds out first little cousin?’ he laughed as Illnya pouted.

‘And so what if she does. Ill not be one of her Ladies.’ she said the word as though it tasted sour in her mouth.
‘I want adventure and excitement and to explore the world. Not babies and housework and sewing and boredom’.

Illnya at sixteen turns old was stunning, just as all of Tah’lons family seemed to be.
Thick blond hair fell in curls about her face and over her shoulders.
She was young and pretty and full of dreams.

For as long as Faith could remember Illnya had dreamt of joining the ranks of the rebels officially and spent her spare time sparring with the boys or reading adventure stories.

Greyonya would have none of it and insisted in teaching her impetuous granddaughter the gentler arts in life.

If the rebels succeeded the Keaton family would be restored to its former position and Illnya would be a lady of the royal court.
Illnya could mend and sew, cook and clean, sing and dance as well as any lady or lord was required: better perhaps.
Illnya was blessed with an aptitude for whatever she put her mind to and despite her protests she was an apt student.

Faith knew she would be a valuable asset to the rebellion one day, but at such a tender age that day was still far away.

‘Greyonya may say what she likes, but she won’t forbid me to practice as long as I do my studies first’ Illnya retorted with an impertinent flick of her hair.

‘It’s only a simple bow and I only have five arrows but I have already set up a target. Will you help me practice Faith?”
Faith glanced at Tah’lon who only smiled and continued roasting treats.

“Well I can’t see why not' she said with a sighed
'As long as Greyonya allows some time for it” she amended quickly.

Illnya let out an energized squeal and seized Faith in a hug.
“Can we start now?” she pleaded excitedly.

Faith smiled and a laugh trickled from her mouth. She knew she should have expected just such a reaction.

They were unexpectedly interrupted by Veronica, one of the many girls who vied for Tah’lons attentions.
‘There you are Tah’lon’ she said batting her eyes. Faith groaned internally, did men actually find that amusing, she wondered.

‘You have yet to join the dance, can I not tempt you to join me’ she breathed.
‘Ah yes’ he said suddenly standing ‘I was just about to join’ he said ‘but I’m afraid I am already engaged for this dance’ he extended his hand to Faith with an awkward smile and a look that begged her to rescue him.

She took his hand tentatively, the familiar sparks rushing to her core.
Veronica rolled her eyes and turned on her heel without a further word. Illnya smirk and jumped up to join the other dancers.

Tah’lons fingers wrapped firmly around her hand and he pulled her upright. She stumbled slightly and suddenly found Tah'lons strong arm caught around her waist steadying her. Her head reeled from the sudden closeness and bolts of lightning shot through her body.

He released his hold on her
‘Thank you Faith’ he said with an awkward laugh ‘you saved me that time’

‘No problem’ she said with a smile, hoping desperately that she wasn't blushing under his gaze.

‘Well, now that were up, shall we?’ he asked presenting his arm to her

She nodded taking his arm and allowed herself to be led to the centre of the dancers. The beat of her heart pounded her chest in time with the drums and the whole world seemed bright and beautiful as Tah'lon swept her along to the music.

Joy radiated through the entire village as they celebrated the plans that tomorrow would be put into action. Faith had never been so happy and later that night as she lay alone in her bed, for the first time in three years she slept soundly.


Please please please review my story I really want to perfect it and I need the imput of all you wonderfull people to do so. Thanks so much in advance!
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