by FiFi Jo
FiFi Jo has a hard night and even tougher morning - contest piece
|Contest entry: Words to use - rescue, chain, wings|
As I clatter home in newest Gucci high heels, am shocked to discover friendly neighbourhood bikie gang holding bonfire party across street. Chagrined, I saunter angrily in direction of rum fumes. Recognise ‘Mutty’, a recent one-night-stand, in all his hairy, gut belching glory, chugging his favourite beverage out of a ladies shoe. As I point a finger accusingly at him, Mutty stammers "Oh no, hide the booze boys"! My wrath in being left out of this shindig bestowed upon him with a swift kick to his ankle, Mutty seems suitably chastised (and near tears). Reeking of Jack Daniels and diet coke he apologises profusely and offers me a crate to sit on and access to his liquor stash as recompense.
As am imbibing 3rd bottle of vodka I hear a familiar siren sound. Check phone but alas, it’s the fuzz. Try to make like a tree and leave but am accosted by two burly men in blue with glistening badges and a chain with my name on it. Upon arrival ‘downtown’, call Best Friend for immediate assistance. Unfortunately I describe situation as ‘being held hostage by men in position of power’ and she thinks I am at local swingers club. Finally, Mutty appears with required payment for my rescue - a 6 pack of vodka cruisers, two girlie magazines and my phone number. Thanks a lot!
Hmmm, awaken to strong smell of stale beer and itching inky sore on backside. Seems have been tattooed with wings and the words "Mutty's Bitch" and am possibly now wed to a large bearded man with a penchant for leather and large engines between his legs. Oh well, at least will never have a problem with the police again!
Word Count 291