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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Adult · #1811413
I had given up on love, when Noah died, but love found me when I met Allen
I had given up on love because death had come into my life and taken the man that I loved away from me. Noah was the light of my life. He completed me in every way. And most importantly he was the father of my son, Danny.
I was so selfish that day I lost Noah. We had a fight about something small and the next thing I knew he was gone. He was hit by a car crossing the street to the little market by our house. He always did that when we had fights. We fought alot before he died. But he'd always come back to me with flowers in hand becasue that's what you do when you love someone. You come back. But he didn't this time. He left me alone to raise our son. How was I going to be a good mother when my son had no father to balance life with.

A few months after Noah passed away, Danny was born. I couldn't bring myself to be there for him when I had so much loss in my heart. sso my sisters, Becky and Taylor along with Becky's fiancee, Allen moved into my big house with me and helped me take care of Danny. Becky was the mother type among us three sisters. Taylor was the party girl type and as for me I was the practical type. I liked things my way and done right which made living with them even harder.
The first month they lived here they did everything. They cooked, cleaned and took care of Danny for me. I couldn't bare looking at him because he reminded me of whom I lost, his father. I even gave up my bedroom to Becky and Allen because it was the biggest one and I didn't need it anymore because I had no one. Noah wasn't coming back.

I woke up one morning to giggling sounds and I quickly investigated the noise. Allen and Becky were snuggling and tickling eachother all over and something inside me snapped. I was jealous that my sister had happiness and I was alone. I lost my husband and she had her fiancee. It wasn't fair. I started heading back to my room when I saw Danny asleep in his crib. He has a teddy bear that he calls Rags right next to him. Suddenly jealousy was no longer there it was replaced by love for my son. I placed the blanket over his tiny shoulders and started to hum a tune. Then I stopped and found myself talking to him.
"My dear sweet Danny,
Mom loves you so much. And she wants you to know that her being apart from you has nothing to do with you. It's me. You look so much like Noah that it scares me. If I lost you I have no idea what I would do. You have no idea how much I loved your dad. He meant everything to me, but now he's gone. And I am so sorry you won't get a chance to get to know him. It's my fault you lost him. That is why it's so hard for me to be around you right now, because I killed your father. He died because we got into a fight, a fight I started for no other reason but to make things difficult for us. And now he isn't here. Can you forgive me, Danny?" I asked quietly.
I left his room as memories of Noah flooded my heart and tears fell upon my cheek.
I went back into my room and curled up in my bed when moments later the door knocked.
"Come in." I said.
It was Becky with Danny in tow.
"it's been three months now, Zoey, it's time to hold your son." She said to me.
"I can't Bex, not now. It's still too hard." I said glaring away from them.
She sighed hard.
"Alright. But you're going to have to take care of him today, Zo." She said to me.
"Why?" I asked.
"It's a little thing called work. I have to get back to it. They let me go this long because of you, but enough is enough we need money." She said.
"What about Taylor?" I asked.
"has classes all day today. She can't watch him either. This time it has to be you." Becky said.
"All right." I reluctantly said.
"Allen will be home all day today. He doesn't go back to work till Monday." Becky said.
She left me and took Danny with her. I quickly got up and changed and headed downstairs.
"Something smells good." I said.
"I hope so." Allen said standing by the stove. "I've been at it for a while."
He put a plate of pancakes and eggs and bacon in front of me.
"Eat up." He said.
Becky rushed downstairs las perfect and perky as she always does.
"Well kids...I gotta go to work now. See you all soon." She said giving each of us a kiss.
"Yeah I have to go to or I'll be late and my professor won't like that." Taylor said.
And then suddenly it was just Allen and me and Danny alone in the house and I felt really awkward.
Breakfast was really quiet because we didn't know what to say to eachother. He then put his hand on mine and I felt something shock me.
"I am truly sorry for all that you've lost, Zoey." He said.
"Thank you." I said getting my hand out from under his.
I had never felt anything like that before. It left me breathless and wanting more. I wanted Allen and I wanted him bad. At the table I found myself in complete conversation with him. We talked about everything and anything I even began to make things up just so our conversation didn't have to end. When we were done I began to do the dishes and he stood next to me helping. Just then a dish fell on the ground and we both bent down to pick it up. As we looked into eachother's eyes sparks flew all around us. Without thinking we leaned into eachother and kissed. It was a slow, soft kiss but suddenly turned into passion. I felt myself giving into him at that moment. We began to take off our clothes just as Danny beganto cry.
"I'll go check on him." Allen said getting up off the ground.
"Good idea." I said getting off of him.
I then let the moment of passions fade as guilt entered my system. What had I just done? I almost had sex with my sister's fiancee in the kitchen. And what was worse is I felt like crap becasue I almost cheated on Noah. I mean I know that he was dead and not coming back but I still loved him very much, but I felt myself attracted to Allen. It was almost like a force pushing us together.
'I gave him a bottle and put him to bed." Allen said.
"Great. Thank you." I said.
It was silent for a moment.
" What just happened?" He asked me.
" I uh-- i don't know. I felt a spark when we touched and I guess I wanted to feel more. And I felt alot when we kissed. But it canhappen again. Becky is my sister and we both love her. We can't go there." I said.
"You're right. We both love her and we can't go there, but I can't deny the sparks either. I felt alot when we kissed toO." hE SAID.
He walked closer to me and helped me finish the dishes. I dropped a spoon on the floor just to see if it was a fluke or the real thing. We bent down for the spoon and once again sparks flew. He moved in real close to me and kissed me softly. I kissed back. Then like before it went from gentle to passionsate. We began to take off the remainder of our clothes and we made love on the kitchen floor. When we were done we laid on our sides and coupled our hands together.
"Are you sorry this happened?' I asked him.
"No. I have strong feelings for you and I don't know why." He said. "Are you sorry this happened?"
"No." I said.
He held me tightly and we began to kiss again. Then kissing led to making love again. After we made love a second time I looked up at the clock. It was going on five pm and Becky would be home soon. We got up kissed again and we both took a shower. Togethe. It was the best shower I ever had. We got dressed and cleaned up and waited for the two of them to come home.
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