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Rated: E · Essay · Cultural · #1831397
A gift idea with a light tone during a stressful time.
Oh, no! It is that time of year again. The lights are up and the gutters are clean. The windows shine and the leaves are gone. The tree is sparkling and the Christmas commercials have glazed my kids’ eyes with an impossible number of gift ideas. I have no choice but to leave and go shopping for Christmas. But this year I have a plan. I am going to give my friends and family what I need: a stiff hard drink to ease the grip of Holiday bliss.

I remember in my youth that a bottle of Seagram’s 7 was the traditional gift my father and uncles exchanged. It was as synonymous with the Holiday as the Christmas Ham or stockings. Yet over the past twenty years, liquor has disappeared as an acceptable gift. We have gone to electronics, clothing, and tools. We even give wine. I have even seen my brothers struggling up my stoop with a case of forty-dollar beer that stays on the porch as we drink cans of what we really like. It is time to get back to basics. It is time to return the jolly to our Christmas holidays. It is time to give our loved ones what they didn’t know they needed. A bottle of Christmas spirits for less than twenty dollars. 

Before you head out and search the aisles, take this Liquor Quiz. After you are done, remember that not all liquors are created equal and consider this site Best Selling Liquors Around the World. You cannot go wrong offering spirits on so holy a holiday and it will beat those sweat socks. Plus, you can save them for their birthday. 

The Best Selling Liquor in the US is what I am using to guide my sleigh. There is liquor for every personality and friendship, so know the receiver, but here is a generic understanding. 

1) Smirnoff Vodka – can’t go wrong with this drink. Good to mix with cranberry or orange juice or drink straight up. There is a bit of class in giving clear liquor and it is warm and friendly to share. This is also an unisex gift and would work as a Pollyanna.

2) Jose Cuervo  - this is fun one to buy. It will usually invoke the blender from its summer slumber as the margaritas make light of the holiday. Your generous gift will create a fiesta for the adults at the party and will result in embarrassing dancing and perhaps, some late night caroling.

3) Captain Morgan – the spiced rum of the islands that will make for instant joy as soft drinks become cloaked elation. I suggest this for our family members who happen to be parents. There is no need for embarrassed parents explaining to their children why they cannot try their strawberry smoothie. This will relieve the fatigue of a sleepless night with dreams of their honeymoons on a moonlit night beach and a hammock under palm trees.

4) Jim Beam – Sweet Bourbon. Now we are getting somewhere. Great gift to exchange as the kids go off to bed and the males get together down the basement. Pour it in a glass and let the joy rinse the pressure of the holidays away with laughter of the old days. This is the gift of memories. Great slow drinking when you are with the people you don’t want to leave.

5) Jack Daniels – Now we all have people to buy for who have to rush off and head to five houses in five hours. Entice them to let someone else drive as you share a shot and wish them holiday and New Year’s joy. As the warmth of the smooth drink relaxes their anxiety of seeing their mother-in-law, you will give them more than a gift. You will give them just a taste of what will await them as they settle down in their pajamas later that night and thank God for their blessings and Tennessee.

Enjoy the holiday and give the gift of relaxation. These five gifts will make your friends and families happy, and will probably be returned to you next year. No matter what, you will save yourself from the malls and needless worry of sizes. One caveat: you will have one hell of a headache December 26th. 
© Copyright 2011 James Dugan (jamesduganlb at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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