The Rendezvous

THE RENDEZVOUS

Do you know that phrase 'if only'? If only and then things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Well, let me tell you about my 'if only'.
It happened about eight years ago now. I had been to a conference in Quebec, I worked for a large ecological research company back then and I was catching a flight home. I was extremely happy, nothing to do with the conference although that had gone well, I was happy in love. Madly in love. Tim was twenty-nine, two years my senior. He was tall with strong broad shoulders, sparkling blue eyes and a shaggy blonde bob of hair. We were engaged, he had just been promoted and we were planning our wedding. Life was perfect! Or at least it would have been if only I had missed that flight home.
I’d had to run to the gate, I was the last passenger on. The stewardess had ushered me to my seat and I remember flopping down and letting out a relieved sigh. A gently mocking voice came from the seat next to me.
“Lucky you, just made it!”
Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t so lucky…
“Oh sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m having one of those days.” I’d turned and looked at the gentleman sat next to me. He had striking green eyes and dark shoulder length hair, his bone structure finely chiselled.
“You’re not disturbing me, I’m quite a nervous flyer. I prefer to know I’m not alone!” His smile was warm and friendly. “I’m Steve.”
“Angela.” Well, it was going to be a long trip…
And so we started to chat. I think Steve found it relaxing, took his mind off the flight ahead. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone listen so intently to the emergency drill, I’ve never really bothered paying much attention myself, it’s not like you think you’ll ever really need it. We settled into the flight and Steve said something about working for himself, didn’t specify in what area but I wasn’t paying that much attention anyway. An hour into the flight we hit turbulence, or at least that was what they said it was. But you never expect the worst do you? Steve’s face changed from green to white, he was suffering regardless of the jokes he tried to make. Some passengers started to complain and the stewardess’ smile became more forced. Gradually there came a feeling of uneasiness, I remember realizing that the engines were quieter than they had been, in fact, I couldn’t hear them at all. Under the noise of the rising panic, the plane itself was silent….
Well, that was eight years ago. Only a handful survived the crash out at sea, the lucky few. And of course, it changed everybody. I changed. Even my beloved Tim found it hard to cope. Things were different. I suppose I shouldn’t have blamed him when Samantha came along? I don’t think I did, I blamed her. They were engaged within six months. They’re married now, had a baby last year, they even have a pet dog. He should have been my husband. It should have been my baby. If only I had missed that flight everything would have carried on as it should have. Life would have been perfect.
I’ve spent a lot of time staring at the ocean, thinking things over. ‘Move on’ they all say. But my life, the life I want, is back there. I still want Tim, more than anything. I came to a decision. I would be reunited with Tim. I knew what I had to do and I didn’t want to put it off any longer. I decided the best time was when Tim walked that dog of theirs along the cliffs. He’d be alone then.
It was early, the sun was just coming up. Shadows stretched along the cliff paths. The air was cool, the breeze still feeling damp from the morning dew. I stood at the edge of the cliff and stared down at the rocks as I waited. It was a desolate spot at that time in the morning. It was the perfect place.
I’m not sure how long I waited? He was coming up the path in the distance, the dog jumping at his feet. Even after all these years, and everything that had happened during that time, he still looked like the picture of my happiness. I still wanted to spend forever with him. I stood back amongst the bushes. The path ran close to the edge here, it wasn’t for the faint-hearted. The dog was the first to notice me, yapping at the bush where I stood. Tim stopped and called him back. Then his jaw dropped. He stared at me, at first unable to speak. I smiled at him.
“Tim.” I whispered.
“An… Angela?” He stuttered. “Is that you?”
“Yes Tim, it’s me. I want us to be together again.” I held out my hand towards him. The breeze became stronger, blowing out to sea. I could feel my own strength getting stronger from within.
“That can never happen Angela. How can it? What we had… We can’t ever be together again?” He was stumbling about near the edge, the wind now so strong it was blowing him off balance. His blonde hair wrapping itself around his face. He nervously glanced behind himself over the cliff edge.
“Trust me Tim. It’ll be alright. We can be together again.”
“Angela, no!” The panic rising in his voice, his footing slipping. “Angela please.. Aahh!” His foot slipped over the edge, the wind so strong he couldn’t fight his way back, the rocks waiting below…
Now I’m waiting at the Arrivals Gate. He’ll be here soon. I so want us to be together again. But I know now that will never happen. I won’t be here when he arrives. You see I wasn’t one of the lucky few that survived the plane crash. My life had ended. My wonderful Tim eventually moved on with his life, but I couldn’t ‘move on’, not like Steve did, like they all kept telling me to. You see this is no ordinary Arrivals Gate. There are only one-way tickets here. But what I did to Tim… so we could be together… there are consequences for that. Well, now my time is running out and I have to pay for what I did…. Tim and I will never meet again. We’ll never be together forever.