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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1890716-Becoming-Zombie
Rated: ASR · Short Story · Comedy · #1890716
Zombie school can be tough...on the teachers...
Written for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge with a word limit of 300.

The prompts: This story must contain the phrase: "Make sure nobody is watching."

Becoming Zombie

“Step, slide, slide, clomp – Step, slide, slide, clomp. That’s it.”

Gladys put on an encouraging face but inwardly she knew – this was the worse class of zombies she’d ever seen. Their attention span was non-existent and they had the stamina of a submerged rock. There was no way she’d have this group ready to terrorize before decomposition shifted them into the next phase of haunting – Ghosting 101.

It wasn’t as if being a Zombie was hard. If you could lurch, you could zombie.

“All together now; like the music video. That’s it, step, drool and groan. Let’s see some arm swinging. Tommy, put that arm down. If it doesn’t belong to you then leave it alone.”

Classroom studies were even worse as they highlighted the fact that zombies were using brains that were, well, brain-dead.

“Miss Gladys. How come we can walk even though we’re dead?”

“Because, Daryl. Just because. Does anyone else have a question before I hand out today’s quiz?”

“Miss Gladys, if we lurch and shuffle, how can we ever hope to catch someone so we can eat their brains?”

Finally, a decent question.

“I’m glad you asked that. Everyone turn to Chapter Eight: Taking ‘Em by Surprise. As you can see, there are several ways to get close. Probably the most effective way is to use the two-step method popularized during the Ed Wood era. This is a simple process that anyone can use. Step One: Make sure nobody is watching. Step two: run towards your victim as fast as you can. Remember to revert back to lurching before anyone sees you.”

A hand in the back of the room…

“Yes, Gomez?”

“Miss Gladys, Bobby just passed some swamp gas and I can’t find my other hand.”

Gladys shook her heard. Definitely the worst class ever.

Word Count 300








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