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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #1913784
That is your 1st Amendment right.
        You know I love a good snow storm. The snow falls like white ashes
    from the sky. Everything is covered in an accent of white and grey. ..
    (Bing-Bong!)... ehm.

            ?Hmf? It's the front door. Better get my Winchester.

    Muzzy peers out the gun slot on his window to see who is ringing the
    bell. It's a burly man and an elf like female.

              "What can I do yah?" Muzzy shouts from his window.

              "Our car is stuck! We need a landline to phone it in!" the man shouts.

              "Just a minute!" Muzzy replies and quickly checks his Barretta into
              his back holster. The Winchester is placed back over his bed.

    The snow drives inward as Muzzy opens his home to the travelers.
    It is the constant seasons of sleep and rebirth that Muzzy loves about
    New England. He offers them tea and biscuits. The man makes the call.

              "Hey. Thanks again. Listen, do you mind if we stay the night?
              The service said they couldn't come out here until tomorrow."
              the man queries with a familiar toothy smile.

              "You look familiar." Muzzy queries.

              "Oh? Yeah, I'm Mel Gibson and this is my girlfriend Jody Foster."
              Mel rubs the snow off his head.

              "You work at the hardware store?" Muzzy queries on.

    Jody giggles and nods quickly yes. Mel looks confused as he removes
    his bear's skinned coat and hangs it in the closet. Jody is wearing a skin
    tight ski suit with a fluffy pink feathered collared jacket. She sits with
    legs spread staring at Muzzy's chess game. The pieces are marble carvings
    of endangered species. "Odd chess pieces. Who are you playing?" she

              "A computer. It plays many variations." Muzzy answers and hands
            her some tea. The biscuit tray is next to the chessboard.

            "What is this?" Mel holds up a chess piece.

            "That's a bishop," Muzzy replies with a smile.

    The bishop is a carving of an orangutang. Mel puts the piece down in its
    position. He looks worriedly at Jody. She gives an impish toothy smile back.
    Mel sits on the couch with Jody and they kiss deeply.

            "The cat that rules the mice," Muzzy said:
            "or is it the mice that rule the cat?"

    Jody unzips her tight ski suit top. She has a white turtle neck sweater
    underneath ,  "Riddles? Mr. Muzzy?" she said and stretched her hands
    over the board: moving the knight forward. The knight was a zebra.

            "Only a dream. We are all ghosts of a child." Muzzy answered,
            "We replace every cell in our bodies until the child is only a
    Muzzy countered her move with a pawn. The pawn was a bumblebee.
    "Can I turn on the teli?" Mel yawned. Muzzy nodded and handed him the
    remote. Mel watches rugby as Jody and Muzzy play chess.

              "And the man turned his attention from the heaven,
              And looked upon the dreary river Zaire,
              And upon the yellow ghastly waters." Muzzy mused.

    He moved his rook behind to check the king. The king was Adam.
    The rook is a snow owl. "Quoting Poe?" Jody queried. Muzzy was delighted
    she had recognized the passage. "Yes. 'Silence A Fable Slope.'"
    Mrs. Foster stretched and slid into Mel's arms. They kissed deeply.
    "You make a lovely couple," Muzzy remarked and ate a biscuit.

              "We're actors. We live and love according to our passions."
              Mel replied; "Life is only a moment and then the moment is
              gone. Is there a bedroom we could use?"

              "I only have one, but the couch opens into a bed."
              Muzzy swallowed his tea, "I can use the couch."

    Jody and Mel scampered to the bedroom. Muzzy suddenly rembemered
    the Winchester over his bed. He dashed in front of them.

                "Just a moment," Muzzy said nervously,
                "I need a few things."

    Muzzy shut the door and thrust the Winchester under the bed.
    He took his night Johny and exited the room.
    Jody was topless in the hallway as Mel massaged her breasts while
    kissing her deeply. "Okay! I'll leave you two alone." Muzzy said as he
    inched his way around the two loved-locked actors.

          Muzzy sips his tea and watched The O'Reily Factor.
    Suddenly, the crack of gunfire erupts. Muzzy has a sickening feeling
    that his Winchester has misfired. He timidly knocks on his bedroom door.
    Mel swings open the door, "Not to worry! I found the rifle and was demonstrating
    it." Muzzy takes a deep breath and takes the rifle from Mel.
                  "This is not a toy," Muzzy says, hunched with stress.

                  "I didn't shoot anything in the room. I shot out the window at an
                  owl. It kept hooting, during our nuptials." Mel said with a big

                  "Oh-my-God!" Muzzy races to the window, but there is no sign
                  of a dead owl.

                  "He's just having some fun with you. He didn't shoot anything
                  accept an icicle off the roof. Come join us!" Jody exclaimed while
                  kneeling in the center of the bed naked.

    Muzzy entertained the celebrities with his knowledge of the Kama Sutra.
    "It was a pleasure and an honor to share your bed," Mel said the following
    morning as the tow truck arrived.

                  "I am a canvas and you have painted me with love," Jody added
                  as she kissed Muzzy deeply.





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