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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1930535-The-Fajita-Fiasco
by NYPen
Rated: E · Fiction · Children's · #1930535
This is a children's, picture story. Critique me on every aspect: theme, story, etc.
1.          The Fajita Shack was a busy place today with orders flying out the door. Manuelito, the owner liked how busy it was.  Flocko, who

cooked, stocked, and cleaned the restaurant loved how busy they were too.

2.          Manuelito liked throwing block parties and he hadn’t thrown one in a while.  There hadn’t been any time. 

3.          “Hey Flocko, I want to throw a block party soon.”  Said Manuelito. 

4.          “We never have any time, we’re so busy.”  Said Flocko.

5.          “The neighborhood loves the parties.”  Said Manuelito.

6.          “I would love to plan one for you.”  Said Flocko. 

7.          “We’ll plan one tomorrow and throw one for the weekend.”  Said Manuelito. 

8.          “I’m all for it, let’s do it.”  Said Flocko. 

9.          A shipment of fajitas was coming today.  The squeal of truck brakes in the alley

let them know it was here. 

10.          “I’ll go out and bring the shipment in.”  Said Flocko. 

11.          “Thank you.”  Said Manuelito. 

12.          Flocko stepped out to the truck.  The rear of the truck was open.  It was packed. 

         Flocko ran back into the store. 

13.          Manuelito looked up from cooking fajitas.  “What’s wrong?”

14.          Flocko had a wild expression on his face.  “We have a bigger order than usual, there’s no place to put the order.  We got the wrong size
order.” 

15.          “Not to worry, we’ll figure out what to do.  It’s not a big problem.”  Said Manuelito.

16.          “I know we want to throw a block party, this would be the time to have one .  It would get rid of the gigantic order and the neighborhood would enjoy the fajitas.”  Said Flocko.

17.          “I agree and the neighborhood won’t be disappointed.”  Said Manuelito.  “It’s been a long time in coming.”

18.          “There’ll be no need to find a place for the order, because we’ll cook all of it.”  Said Flocko. 

19.          “No doubt, those fajitas will go fast.”  Said Manuelito.

20.          “Do you think we’ll go through that many?”  Said Flocko.

21.           Customers shook their heads in eager agreement with smiles on their faces. 

22.          Manuelito started dancing right there.  Flocko grabbed Manuelito’s arm and danced with him.  Customers clapped in excitement. 

23.          The Fajita Shack became a dance floor with people grabbing partners.  The dancing went out into the street. 

24.          Everyone chanted, “we want a block party, we want a block party.”

25.          In a matter of minutes the crowd went outside and helped set up tables so Manuelito could start cooking fajitas for the block party. 

26.           Flocko brought out every box from the shipment and laid all the fajitas out and started to cook them. 

27.           Before they knew it a line of people wrapped themselves around the corner waiting for a taste of Manuelito’s fajitas.

28.           Everyone looked down the street and heard music and saw amusement rides coming.

29.          The crowd sent up a loud cheer as ferris wheels, bounce houses, spinning rides, animal rides and a band set up.  The smell of cooking

fajitas filled the air. 

30.          Manuelito and Flocko turned and smiled at each other.  “Flocko, this is the best block party ever.” 

31.          Flocko agreed as he handed out the most flavorful fajitas to eager customers. 

32.          Manuelito said.  “Getting the wrong size shipment couldn’t have turned out any better.” 

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1930535-The-Fajita-Fiasco