5 different stories crashing together.
They're yelling again. I wonder what they're fighting about this time; money, work, mum drinking, daddy cheating? Whatever it is, it won't be long until they get violent. I hope I don't get sucked into this argument too, I hate it when they hit me. Well, for now I'll turn up my music and wait for Alex to pick me up, he is the light in my life of darkness.
Rebecca's cruelty never fails to surpass me. She called me a fat cow today, better than lard-o I guess. I only weigh 130 and I've already thrown up what I've eaten plus more. I look at my stomach in the mirror, still a little pudgy. Whatever, I'm tired of worrying about it tonight. I'm ready to get this heavy feeling off my shoulders, I'm ready to feel light. I get my razorblades out from between my mattress and lock my door.
I'm really tired of dad drinking all his troubles away, he's a real douchebag when hes wasted. I take another puff of my cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of my stilettos. I suppose I should take a hint and quit smoking, especially considering that's why my mom has been in the hospital for the last four months. I saw her again today, the chemotherapy is making her sicker but she swears she feels better. The doctor says the chemo is killing the cancer though, little light among these dark days lately. Time for fun though, Ryder just pulled into my driveway. He's late but I don't care tonight, I'm just ready to get to the party.
I'm so glad I got paid today, lawn mowing has really paid off. I was finally able to get some Mary J, I've been suffering from severe withdrawal. I take one last blow from my weed then crank my jeep. I still have to pick up Nate and some taco bell for when the munchies come around. I just hope I don't get pulled ove being this high. I love the feeling though, I'm so light.
I spritz a little more axe on before Asher picks me up, I hope he saved me some marijuana, I'm going to need the buzz if I plan on coming out to him tonight. I'm not going to tell Alex or Ryder, Asher is the one I'm aiming for. With those silky brown locks of his, and his chiseled tan torso, and that tight little a** of his. If hes not gay he will be after tonight. I know my heart will feel so light once I'm out of the closet.
I stare into the porcelain toilet with tears streaming down my face. Should I still go to the party? It'd be weird if I didn't but even weirder if I did but didn't drink, smoke, and get high. I'm not sure I can bear to face Isabella, Rebecca, and Rose right now. And I definately can't bear to face Bryce. He told me that it would feel wonderful, that I'd be on cloud nine! Sure, it hurt at first, but with his soft lips on my neck, whispering in my ear, moaning about how tight I was and how great it felt, and those strong hands of his all over me, I ended up feeling as if I were experiencing Nirvana, and after we were done I felt so light, so special. I knew we should've used protection, how will I ever tell Bryce that I'm pregnant?
it looks like I'll be sneaking out of the house to go to the party... again. My christian family is so strict! I wish I could just tell them I'm an atheist. Whatever, I'm going to Hell when I die, so what I won't see 'the light'. I'm so ready to graduate and leave this sh*t town.