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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1971524-The-Note
Rated: E · Short Story · Crime/Gangster · #1971524
A revised version of the beginning of my short story
The Note By Rachael Leach

Sally Jones was thirty three years old, although she didn’t feel it and certainly didn’t look it. She was an attractive lady in an unassuming way. Her friends were envious of her effortless good looks. Most of the time, Sally would be seen in worn out jeans, a fleece and walking boots. She kept her blonde hair neat and short, it was easier to do that way and it gave her a youthful look about her. She was tall and curvy; she sometimes struggled with her weight, due to a very sweet tooth.

Sally enjoyed being in the great outdoors more than anything. She was always out walking in the Cumbrian hills with her faithful Border Terrier Jeff. They would set off early in the morning and be gone for a few hours, sometimes calling in at the local pub for a glass of wine and a quick chat with the locals. She adored her weekends; it gave her some time to get away from her life which had become quite mundane lately. Sally worked in a butchers shop, and although she liked the people she worked with, it was hardly an exciting way to make a living. The wages were only just enough to cover the cost of her small terraced town house and its bills. She hadn’t been on holiday for the last seven years, and all her friends were either pursuing a fulfilling career or raising a family. Something had to give.

Born in County Wexford in Ireland, she had spent her early childhood playing down at the beach with her older brother David. She had enjoyed living in Ireland, but when she was five her father had simply walked out of her life, never to be heard from again. Her mother had decided to move back to Cumbria in England to her parent’s house as it was difficult for her, bringing up two children on her own. Cumbria was a nice place to grow up, she enjoyed school and they could walk for miles through green fields with no one bothering them. Sally, her brother and their friends would meet up, and head down to the river; they would spend most of the day fishing, though they rarely caught anything bigger than a minnow! As she got older, Sally realised that sometimes it can be quite difficult growing up in a small town. People made it their business to know everything about you and your family in a town, and her mother was looked down on because other people thought she had failed when her marriage had broken down. Sally hated the way people treated her mother and would quite often get into arguments with people in the town when she heard them discussing her family in the street. Because of this David and Sally were very close, they figured that most of the people in their town were not worth bothering with at all. Most of the time they would be found together with just a close group of friends with them.

Sally and David’s mother, Theresa, was a very timid and quiet lady. She worked very hard as a cleaner for a wealthy family in the town. Mr and Mrs Donaldson were good with her, and paid her well. She had become very close to Mrs Eilidh Donaldson. Theresa would work from 8.00am until 12.00 noon, and then Eilidh would call her through to the dining room, where she would have prepared a pot of tea. They would spend the next half hour talking about everything and anything, each needing the companionship and counselling as much as the other. Mr Donaldson, Richard, owned a building supplies business, which must have been doing well because they owned a huge town house as well as a couple of houses abroad, and he had a nice collection of classic cars. Both were very nice people and Theresa looked upon them as friends, although she always felt as though something about this family didn’t quite weigh up. Mr and Mrs Donaldson had two sons, Thomas and Gareth. Thomas’ friends called him “Tomo” apparently that was cooler than Thomas. He was a very popular boy, because he was thoughtful and kind but also had a brilliant sense of humour and was the type of boy people liked to be with. He was a handsome boy, in a rugged way; he kept his hair cropped close to his head, with deep blue eyes, and stubble on his chin. He had a couple of piercings in his lip, though they were discreet. Tomo had just left school and decided he wanted to take a year out to discover himself. He had enjoyed school, but just wanted to see what was out in the world before embarking on a university education. He was often around when Theresa was there talking to his mother, but he would just sit in the back ground, uninterested and playing on his mobile ‘phone. Gareth was only ten years old, he was a waif like boy, tall and thin with short blonde hair. He was a bit of a geek, and would mostly play quietly in his bedroom. He was mostly found up in the Donaldson’s attic, in which they had installed a telescope. He would sit up there for hours at a time logging different constellations.

Sally vaguely remembered her father, he was a huge Irish man, with a shock of ginger hair, and he stood at least 6 foot 3. She only knew that he was called Raymond Lawlor because she had heard some people talking about her mother at the school gates. “Aye, that’s her, she was married to that Raymond Lawlor, and they lived in Ireland for a bit, ‘til she drove him away.” They were saying. He had always worked hard, although she was not sure what doing. She remembered that there were often a lot of people who would visit their home and her mother would panic, trying to keep the children from going into the kitchen where the meetings were being held. There was one particular memory that was seared into Sally’s brain. It was shortly before their father walked out of their lives. David and Sally had been playing at a neighbour’s house earlier on in the day and had found a tiny, frightened kitten. David, who was eight at the time had picked it up and put it inside his jacket and brought it home. They didn’t want their parents to find it and so they had hidden it in a cardboard box in the kitchen. The next thing their father was holding one of his meetings, and a group of men had followed him in to the kitchen. Sally and David had panicked. “You have to go and get him, before dad finds him!” cried David. Sally was frightened but didn’t want the kitten to get hurt. She was stood listening at the kitchen door, waiting for the right time to go in, when suddenly the door flew open. It hit Sally and flung her across the floor, her nose exploded with hot, red blood and she sat there in shock. Her father had hold of a man by his throat and was dragging him out of the house. When they got outside he flung the man to the floor and proceeded to give him a good kicking. Eventually two of the men dragged Raymond away, and he stormed back in to the house, heaving with anger. “Ray!” shouted Theresa, “look at your poor girl!” as she rushed over to pick up a five year old Sally. “Fuck ye!” shouted Ray as he stomped up the stairs. Sally sat with her mother in front of the fire crying all night after that. Too frightened to go to bed, and if the truth be told so was Theresa. Sally sometimes thought about this episode in their lives and thinks that it was probably a good job that her father walked out and left them.

It was a wet and wild day in Cumbria; Sally woke up and looked out of her window. Jeff, her Border terrier looked woefully up at her then put his head down and snuggled further into his bed. “Come on Jeff, just around the block.” It was pouring with rain, and she pulled the hood on her coat tight as she battled through the wind and rain. She was walking past the bus stop as usual; when the school bus pulled away and noticed that one of the young boys hadn’t got on to go to school. The youth these days, she thought to herself, but then as she looked closer she realised it was her friends son, James. She decided that he was obviously skiving school, and followed him, she would give him the ultimatum; go to school or she will tell his parents. He quickly dived into an alley and she had him cornered, but when she caught up with him she realised that it wasn’t James after all. “Oh I am sorry.” She said, feeling a little silly for following this stranger. He just looked at her; his eyes were sunken in to his face, which was as white as a sheet. He looked like he hadn’t had a proper meal for a while. She couldn’t help but feel for this young boy, who could be no more than ten or eleven. “Here!” he exclaimed, and before Sally knew it, he had stuffed a piece of paper into her hand and ran straight past her. “Wait!” she turned and shouted but when she followed onto the street the boy was long gone. At that moment her mobile phone rang. It was her friend Kate, asking if she wanted to meet for a coffee. She put the piece of paper into her pocket without thinking and set off to meet her friend. They had a good gossip, and engrossed in conversation, Sally forgot all about her earlier situation.

When Sally got home, she was soaked through to the skin. The weather was just getting worse out there. She looked at Jeff, who hadn’t moved since she had gone out that morning. It’s alright for you. She thought, not a care in the world. Kate had told Sally that she was going to live in Australia for a year or so, and although Sally was pleased for her friend she couldn’t help but feel a tang of envy. She wanted an adventure too. She put her hands into her pockets and felt the piece of paper from earlier. She pulled it out and saw it was a handwritten note. As she unfolded the note she realised that it had her name on it. The note read; “Dear Sally, please meet me at 9.00pm, on Wednesday, on the corner of Croft Avenue. Please do not tell anybody about our meeting as we are all in very grave danger. You have to trust me.” She was in turmoil. For a start how did they know who she was? And why would she be in grave danger? She hadn’t done anything to upset anyone. But the other part of her was thinking well, this is maybe a sign, a chance for my much needed change.

So Wednesday morning dead on 9.00pm she took Jeff and stood on the corner of Croft Avenue. A black Mercedes van pulled up alongside her and Jeff stiffened at her side. A young man jumped out of the van, his hood pulled low over his eyes. “Hello Sally, I’m sorry to do this to you.” And with that Sally felt a jolt of pain and hit the floor. She and Jeff were put into the back of the van, and it sped off wheel spinning as it drove away. When she came around, she had a throbbing headache and she couldn’t see properly in the candle light. She was in a very dingy place which smelled of damp, stale urine, and God forbid… blood. She shuddered, not knowing where she was, the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. The fact that Jeff was by her side was a little comfort to her. She could feel a presence in the room with her, and soon she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was the young man who had been driving the van. “I’m sorry about that Sally; I couldn’t take any chances that you wouldn’t come with me. I didn’t expect you to have a guard dog with you either!” he gave out a little chuckle; he sounded nervous considering it was he who had done the kid napping. “Who are you?” Sally asked.
He gave out a sigh as if he had the world on his shoulders, and when he started to explain to Sally who he was and what was wrong; it became apparent that he did have. He called out toward the kitchen, and the little boy who had given Sally the note appeared. He looked even worse in his home environment. “My name is Tomo, and this is Gareth, my little brother.” The young man started to explain. “We are both in great danger and we need your help. Our parents have been taken, and you are the only person that can help us.” Sally didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. She had been mostly minding her own business when this child had given her that note, yesterday, and now here she was having been tasered and being fed this stupid story. She was furious! “How dare you do this to me!” she shouted! I’m going to telephone the police, if you don’t take me home now!” The pair was taken aback. However they had planned it in their head, this was not the reaction they were expecting from Sally. From what they knew of her she was so mild mannered they were sure she would help. “No, no please don’t do that, they will kill us for sure if you do. We will take you home, but please Sally, listen you can help. And if you don’t it will be forever on your conscience when you find out what did happen to us.” And with that Sally got back in to the van and was quickly transported, with Jeff, to the corner of Croft Avenue. “Thank you Sally, for meeting with us, and take care of yourself.”

For the next few days Sally couldn’t get Tomo and Gareth out of her mind. After all they were just two young boys, what if they really were in danger? But what could Sally do? She wasn’t the police; she didn’t even know anyone in the police. And she certainly didn’t know anyone who would be after these two boys and their families. All the same, it was a bit of excitement in her otherwise boring life. She decided to ask her boss if she could take a couple of weeks off work and she would go over to Ireland to visit her brother.

David had moved back to Ireland a few years ago, and lived not too far from where they had lived as children. He ran a successful IT business from home, and could always find time to spend with his sister Sally. He had just got married last year to his wife Carole and they were blissfully happy. When Sally arrived at their house, Carole was still at work in the hospital where she was a nurse. David and Sally took the opportunity to take a walk down to the beach with Jeff and David’s trusty golden retriever Spud. It was windy and cold on the beach but it made Sally feel alive and she was very pleased she had made the decision to visit Ireland. Later that evening when they had finished their evening meal, and were sat in front of the roaring fire enjoying a glass of wine, Sally decided to tell David and Carole about her encounter with the boys. David thought that they were just two young fools having a laugh at Sally’s expense and told her as much. Just at that moment the telephone rang. Carole answered it, and then called to the siblings “It’s your mother; she seems very upset about something.” David went to the phone, and spoke to her. “It’ll be ok ma, nothing to worry about I’m sure, there’s not a lot you can do if they haven’t given you a number to get in touch with them on. Yep ok ma talk to you soon. Sally sends her love. Bye.” And with that he put the phone down. Sally and Carole both spoke at the same time, “is everything ok?” David explained that when Theresa had gone to clean at the Donaldson’s she had found a quickly scribbled note, saying that they had gone away and wouldn’t be back for some time. It was signed from Eildih which was spelt wrong. Theresa had found strange for a start, but also when she had started to clean she had noticed a small smear of blood on the floor by the back door, and on the side was Tomo’s mobile phone, which never left his side. David let out a chuckle, “poor ma, she watches far too many programmes on the television! Imagine people can’t even go on holiday now without her turning in to detective and presuming kidnap!” But a chill ran up Sally’s spine, her mouth had gone dry and the world spun. “Sally?” asked Carole, seeing that Sally had gone as white as a ghost. “Are you ok?”
“Did she say Tomo’s phone was on the side?!” questioned Sally. “Yea, Tomo, why do you ask?” asked David. “Have you not heard a word I was just telling you?” asked Sally. “Tomo was the lad who approached me! It’s got to be the same person!” The room went silent, each contemplating what to do next.

Tomo loved his parents, he loved the fact that they worked so hard to provide him with the best of everything. However they were fairly strict and although he knew better, Tomo had started to rebel a bit when he had turned into a teenager. They had absolutely banned him from going to this party. He had other ideas though. At 11.00 his friend drove up to the house and while the car hadn’t even stopped Tomo had jumped in! There was nothing his parents could do about it he was already well on his way. The party had been immense; lots of alcohol, dancing and of course plenty of drugs doing the rounds. Tomo didn’t take ecstasy often, but this was the last time he would see his friends for a while, plus he was already in trouble with his parents, he might as well make it worth the hassle. When he arrived home, there was an eerie silence. It was weird, generally the hounds would bark in their kennels when someone was around but there was nothing. He decided to go around to the side door where it would be easier to sneak in. He laughed to himself pretending that he was a ninja hiding behind bushes, then dropping and rolling to the next one. Suddenly he stopped dead, what he saw next, fills his dreams every night. His mother was being dragged lifelessly across the floor, blood was pouring from a gash on her fore head. She was thrown into the back of a white transit van. His dad was pulled out next, his leg hung to one side in a freakish manner, it was obviously broken. He couldn’t do anything for shock, he just simply watched. The van drove off down the driveway; he quickly ducked down behind the statue as the headlights shone in his direction. He sat for a minute or two hardly daring to move until the cold, damp grass made him shudder and he crawled his way to the door. His head was spinning, he realised how wasted he was on drink and drugs, and he somehow managed to get through the door. He put his ‘phone down in the kitchen and made his way to his room. Then he passed out. When he awoke he rubbed his head. How much had he taken last night? He had never felt this bad before. He managed to sit up and look at the clock. It was 12.00 pm, he was covered in his own vomit and so decided to get have a shower and get changed. He supposed he better go and apologise to his parents. Then it dawned on him, something terrible had happened last night. He couldn’t quite remember what had been going on but he knew it wasn’t good. In the shower, the night before flooded his brain, and that’s when he realised he hadn’t been dreaming. He ran out naked, “Mam, Dad!” he screamed over and over, searching every inch of the house. He ran upstairs to the attic, maybe he had imagined it all and they were going to be sat up there with Gareth watching the stars. Once he got up there he felt liked he had been stabbed in the heart. There was sat Gareth, he was in his stars and moons pyjamas sat in the corner, sobbing and rocking backwards and forwards. “Gareth, Gareth” whispered Tomo urgently, but his brother just stared straight ahead. “GARETH!” screamed Tomo, and he shook his brother by the shoulder. Eventually Gareth spoke. “They…. are …. Going…. To …. Kill…. Them.” He sobbed. Tomo picked his brother up and gave him a fire fighters lift down the stairs.




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