Limericks Mk XII

EVEN GHOULS DREAM



From the depths of the crypt came a scream

That wakened the ghoul from a dream

Of maidens so fair

With long golden hair

Showing things are not quite what they seem.



WILD WEST



“Dagnabbit!” the bartender cried

when the gunman slipped slowly inside.

“You’re ruining trade

with the noise that you made

when seducing the schoolteacher’s bride.”



LEFT BEHIND



“What’s this that they’re calling an ark?”

said the unicorn, “must be a lark.”

“I really don’t care,

I’m not going in there

it’s too cold and too damp and too dark.”



RESIGNATION



“Why ever did Harold resign?

I thought he was doing just fine.”

“Well you see, Sally dear,

he’s addicted to beer

and vodka and scotch and red wine.”



CHEEKY



There was a young lady from Crete

with a truly spectacular seat

She paraded it daily

and then giggled gaily

when people just looked at her feet.



RETROSPECTIVE



I remember my very first kiss.

Dear Julia, how much I miss

your sweet, gentle ways,

those halcyon days

now wrapped in historical bliss.



THOSE TROLLS GET EVERYWHERE



She screamed in despair and dismay

as a misshapen troll blocked the way.

It grumbled and muttered

and a roar then it uttered,

which really disrupted her day.



EROTICA



The book that I hold in my hand,

is the climax of writing I’d planned.

But the content’s so hot,

that, as likely as not,

the whole thing will simply be banned.