The Wedding is Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I will be joining a young couple in matrimony. I’m not sure who is more nervous me or the bride! This will be the first wedding at which I have officiated. It is a civil wedding and I have been approved by the Quebec Department of Justice to tie the knot. The young couple Daryl and Andrée-Anne chose me for this honour, all the legal papers are in order, and I just have a few things to touch up on the service.

What could go wrong? It’s an outdoor wedding, so plenty could go wrong. I’m afraid to watch the weather forecast on TV for one thing! At the moment it is pouring rain! Oh my, what if it rains tomorrow or worse yet a torrential downpour with heavy winds, and thunder and lightning?

My outfit was carefully chosen to avoid wardrobe malfunctions and is laid out ready to go. It is a deep blue to discourage any food or drink that may dribble onto it. The long skirt seemed like a good idea at the time, but there is a possibility of it, twisting around my feet and pitching me forward. Comfortable shoes of course are a must. The bra scares me, as so much can go wrong there. It must be properly adjusted to to avoid spillage and or budges, and to avoid that uneasy feeling that the bra straps are slipping, and need to be hiked up every few seconds.

Yesterday was the hair appointment the only time they could fit me in. I have my father’s hair, so it tends to have a mind of its own, frizzing up and curling tightly to my head when the weather is humid. I was happy with the result of the cut, and smiling as I left the salon. That was when the heavens opened and there was a deluge of rain, plastering my hair to my head.

For jewelry, I think I will go with a single strand of black pearls, ok they are magnetic beads. This brings up a new worry. What if all small metal things around me become attracted to the necklace and start flying straight to my neck and attach themselves to the necklace?

I have rheumatoid arthritis, also a gift from my dad, so have opted to sit on a stool in case I can’t stand throughout the service. I hope I don’t slide off that stool into a crumpled heap on the grass. I’m not sure if my state of mind should be classified as acute anxiety or paranoia, but I have decided to remain calm and just pretend none of this stuff is happening. I will just continue with the ceremony no matter what.

When the wedding is over I can collapse with a glass of wine and finally get back into a routine. I will update you here on the next writing part in The Challenge. It will be my July 16th entry I think. That is if they have removed my straight jacket by then!