#bestvacationever

#bestvacationever
A poem for the humorous poetry contest

The flowers out back were beginning to bloom
My family and I in our living room

Baby birds outside were learning to sing
My daughter’s iTouch was starting to ping

Me on my iPad, deep in the zone
The fam’ on the couch, glued to their phones

“What's 4 din,” I texted my wife
“I’ll order 🍕,” she tapped her device

I e-mailed my boy, “Is your homework all done?”
“It Sprg Br8k,” replied my son

“smh…girl ain’t got no butt for that dress”
To Facebook my daughter posted that mess

I looked around and shook my head
For this isn’t living, it’s more like we’re dead

I decided to give them each a mandate
So to their walls, I tagged an update

“We shall go camping, starting tomorrow”
I then heard a gasp of guttural horror

“We shall depart at O five thirty”
“The tweets we'll get will be from birdies”

I got no comment, not even a like
So to our agenda, I added a hike

“#lamedad makes family sleep in a tent”
To the internet, that's what was sent

Deep in the mountains odd things transpired
As 4G networks failed to acquire

Around a fire, my son spoke real words
And he and my daughter even conferred

We fished, we biked, and told spooky stories
I rehashed tales of all my past glories

My wife rubbed my knee, cut her eyes to our van
For she had devised an intimate plan

We took lots of pics of our happy fam’
So we could all post to Instagram