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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2020638-Perhaps-I-should-start-my-own-religion
Rated: 13+ · Editorial · Comedy · #2020638
Some questions I get asked, ect.
        Is there a God?

        How should I know?
        I'm not a prophet or Priest, Rabbi or Glen Beck.
        Yes, Glen Beck has announced that God speaks to him.

        Steven Hawkins isn't certain if God exists.
        He's way smarter than me.
        He does have a fear of artificial intelligence, a Terminator movie.

        Honest to .. whatever you believe, I have people asking me for advice
        on God and politics. I got a 67 on my I.Q. test at U-Mass Boston.
        But, I don't trust exams. They're too rigid.

        I was watching porn and a pop up asked me to chat with a "hook-up."
        "I can't believe it's you." the lady texted.
        I texted, "?"
        "Is there any way we can hook-up?" the lady continued.
        I texted, "Okay."
        "I need your advice." she texted.
        I was getting a question about her feeling of emptiness
        on a porn site..

        A young soldier in camouflage uniform asked me in the mall for
        my opinion on the war in the middle east..
        I said it was too complex for me.

        As far as I can remember, the military was about blowing up things
        and killing the enemy. If you do not want to do that, then you should not
        be in the military. I thanked the soldier for his service and added that he
        might be able to transfer to homeland defense.

        I have a dream about eating cake and watching an atomic mushroom cloud.
        Is this a vision from God? Or is it the chocolate cake?
        I had a dream about a Wonder Woman episode where she visits Saudi Arabia
        in her Wonder Woman outfit. Would she be forced to wear a Hajime?
        Is Shazam a Moslem extremist??  His powers come from an ancient
        Arab  pagan magician.

        A number of people ask me if I am having fun.
        "Yeah, sure.. whatever." I lie.

        If you need advice from me.

        Write to~

                          Muzzy
                          POBOX 821
                          Kittery, Maine
                          03904

      I'm clueless about money and sex.
      I will take the money and sexy photos or videos.
      Geeze. Am I really 53?

      Peace Out!

        (Y)

      I might have married the girl in the photo...
      But, she wasn't interested.

      Bob County
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2020638-Perhaps-I-should-start-my-own-religion