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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2028871-Hopefully
Rated: 18+ · Other · Comedy · #2028871
I let myself go on this one :) Beware, inspired by Louis CK.
      So, a new Putin love song came out on You Tube recently. I guess they needed something to counteract all the hate videos. And I went to check out some of these, but I could only stomach one. Yeah, the guy deserves to sit on a long, fat spike for all eternity, but there is no reason I have to see that. And I thought of the type of video that I would like to see on You Tube about this guy. So here goes.

      Let’s put his face on a boxer’s punching bag and have a huge, sweaty guy beat the crap out of it. Let’s have Putin dummies placed in a karate class and have the kids pummel him till all the limbs get bent out of shape and all the fake teeth fall out. Let’s have archers and police men aim for his face in target practice. Let drunken truck drivers throw darts at the picture of Putin’s asshole, and hear him howl in agony with each bull’s eye. Let’s make beating the hell out of Putin a national pastime for about two seconds and then… we’ll just let him go.

      We’ll just picture his face superimposed on a bowl of shit just before flushing. I know for a fact that thought is material.  If we all jut held this image in our minds for a minute we could do a great service to the whole planet! Just think of it! We take a moment to take him in all his fecal glory, floating in the bowl, as all shit does, stinking like it too and then, with great satisfaction we press on that lever and just let it go. Sayonara mothafakka!!!  I’m so glad to see ya disappear!

      What a relief! Just picture that pseudo-president slide down the slimy waste pipe down to the sewer where he’ll surf the refuse highway, joined by used condoms and cigarette butts, going: “How ya doing?” to his companions, enjoying himself immensely, after all, he is in his natural element. Eventually he will get to the water purification tank where he’ll soak for a few months in all sorts of chemical reagents that will try in vain to clean him up, but let’s face it, if the whole world saying: “No buddy, don’t do that, not a good idea.” didn’t get to him, what could chloric acid hope to achieve? So they’ll have to grind that garbage up into little filthy particles which then will get flushed out to sea, let Mother Nature deal with that shit. There mini Putins will get sucked on by mollusks and munched on by crabs and will in that way reenter the food chain, wiping out the entire ecosystem of that region, unfortunate enough to have attempted to reintegrate that scum into society.

      Yet the difficulty of letting go in this case is considerable, because people like that in their own very nature poison everything within the confines of the expansive  country that they inhabit, which is not enough to contain that shit so it ends up spilling over to their neighbors. But we will try. We will surround the region affected by Putin contamination by a great barrier, (we can do it, has been done before), and we’ll give it a couple million years to putrefy, and maybe, just maybe after long enough time has passed, after the human race has been wiped off the face of the earth with the help of people like our dear old Putin, someone will stumble upon our planet and will find here the biggest and purest diamond they have ever seen. And that is the only way that man can bring some beauty into this world, hopefully.
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