The life of a depressed person, what happens next? UPDATED
|Depression is Closer Than You Think|
Depression. Everybody's heard of it. But if your best friend was depressed would you notice? Well, my best friend didn't notice. I had to tell her thinking that would help.
When you're depressed you only see the negatives in life. Then you start to lose interest and stuff you used to enjoy. You feel left out, you're a loser, you'll never fit in. You're never skinny enough. Pretty enough. Perfect enough. Your mood starts to change, and that pushes people away. Because they don't know why you're all of a sudden angry, sad, or miserable. Eventually you start to push everyone you love and care about away. You eventually push away your very best friends. And just like that you're by your self. No one to tell you the rumors aren't true, no one to say that shirt doesn't make you look fat, and the worst one, no one to be there just to talk. Then these thoughts start to come in your head. Drowning, jumping, hanging, do I really need to go on? Then you go in the bathroom and you see yourself drowning in the bathtub. You see yourself jumping off a bridge. That's not even the worst part. You start to actually consider these things.
You may not even want to, but the depression starts digging deeper in deeper into you. You were the attention seeker because you cut yourself. So you cut your stomach so no one can see. You start to feel like you're addicted, every time something happens. You run to your room and lock your door. You cry and then you think about your stress reliever. You take the blade from wherever you're hiding it and ease it across your skin. You feel the sharp pinch and then you see the blood trickling down. Twenty cuts later you're satisfied. And every time you change your clothes you see the marks, scars, you remember the pain but continue as if nothing is there, and you go to school.
You see someone you're close to you, and you want to run up and hug them. You want them to say everything is okay. But then you think about how many more rumors there would be so you fake a smile and keep walking. You go through the days counting down how many hours are left until you get to leave. Until you get to go back to being alone in your room.
Then there are the nights you can't sleep, you stay up all night crying. Your grades are slowly falling. And slowly your world is a constant wonder of how much longer until you can't handle it anymore. How much longer until you're pushed over the edge? But I'm just a teenager, I'm stupid, I make mistakes. But I'm lost. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. But anyways you stop eating meals. Just a little something to get you through the day.
You're probably wondering what made me depressed. Well that's a good question. So I looked it up, and sometimes it's caused by losing someone close. But sometimes you just get it for no reason at all. And it really makes you wonder if you'll be like this forever. If you'll be this broken person for the rest of your life.