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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2049790-Tinnitus
Rated: E · Poetry · Emotional · #2049790
I hate sitting alone in the silence..

Let me be clear

On the one thing I fear.

Sitting in silence,

My only friend is tinnitus.

One of two things will happen

You’ll end up bored and be nappin’.

Quite frankly I don’t want to think

On what the latter thing will bring.



If you don’t let your eyelids take over and blacken

The world around you you’ll only regret what happens.

I’m not talking about being tired

Because we all have to sleep eventually.

I’m talking about your mind and the power it possesses

On becoming louder than your friend tinnitus.

And you have to sit. And you have to listen to it

But you don’t want to because you know its right, damn it.



And it’s too late to drown it out now

‘Cause these thoughts are coming through like a plow!

And you have to sit. You have to listen

Your mind is firing on all pistons.

And you think about all of the sad. You think about all of the hurt.

You think about all the bridges that you should have freakin’ burnt!

But it’s too late for that! You can’t go back!

You can’t rectify the things you want changed.



‘Cause the past, is the past.

Broken hearts have swarmed and they’ve massed.

At this point tinnitus knocks

Trying to drift you into reality at its docks.

Then you remember that music makes you feel

And takes away the pain, takes away the real.

Even if you and the artists’ hearts bleed the same

And what he talks about is on your mind; insane?



But it’s different because you can sympathize

And that makes these thoughts not feel like lies.

You feel his heart through all the key strokes

And all of the metaphorical words he spoke.

And that’s why music’s your escape

To stop your mind and its rape.

Raping you of the secure world media pushed on us.

Bringing back to reality is a must!



And that is why you play the music.

24/7 if you could choose it.

But you can’t. And sometimes you forget.

And that where you are now with your mind on like a faucet

Because you just couldn’t fall asleep.

And let your dreams blissfully carry you deep.

Now you’re stuck with these thoughts you’re trying to avoid

But your mind’s just one big freaking asteroid



Headed straight for Earth, Straight for home

Trying to demolish everything you own.

You hate your mind. You hate your past.

Hate everything thing. Mind’s swarming so fast

With all the rage, all the hate

All the sad things that’ve happened to date.

The occasional one thing that brings a smile to your face.

How can you be beat at your own race?



This is your mind, this is your past

These are all the things you have to live with.

The silence is yours. And believe me it’s dangerous

It will consume you but it can be generous.

It’s all about perspective but

At this point your mind just wants to shut

Out all the good, all the joy

And leave you feeling like a broken toy



Unwanted and unloved.

Feels like no one believes in you but they should.

At this point you look to the skies above

Even if you say you don’t have a God

And you ask and you cry

Over and over asking why.

“Why? Just what exactly are the reasons

That you feel the need to curse me with these demons?”



But you remember this and this is my message

All that pain? All the hurt?

All the bridges that you should have burnt?

They don’t matter now they’re obsolete.

What matters now is how you complete

Your life story. You’re the only one who writes it.

You’re the only one that can make a profit

Out of all the demons of your past.



Now get up and get out!

Don’t let your mind continue to shout.

Just put your headphones in and fade away.

But don’t save those thoughts for a rainy day.

‘Cause you’ll drift back and fall down

Sitting again in that empty sound.

Wondering again where your life has gone

Wondering again what you should have done.



Just sit back and plug in

To all the emotions they’re strummin’.

But don’t get caught up in his words

Just let them come at you as a blur

Of sound and melody

Don’t think about what he’s trying to tell me.

Just let the notes carry you away

And remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.

































© Copyright 2015 Walker Andreasen (wolfmanandy at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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