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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2065883-Do-You-Feel-The-Chatter
Rated: E · Poetry · Emotional · #2065883
I am looking for feedback on flow and imagery. I am concerned about my syllable counts.
Do you feel
the chatter in your brain?
The noise of others
the root of your pain

Do you feel
how they pull at your heart?
These thoughts of others
that tear you apart

Do you feel
how your light dims?
Each time they criticize
insult on a whim

Do you feel
how your teeth grind?
When memories return
of moments unkind

Do you feel
how you hesitate?
After your excitement is crushed
by critics that hate

Do you feel
like you anymore?
After so many broke in
and chipped at your core

Do you feel
the chatter in your brain?
The noise of others
the root of your pain


*****************************************

Have you been
the chatter?
In the minds
of those that matter

Have you been
the cause of pain?
That left someone
feeling insane

Have you been
the unkind one?
Who laughed at them
poking fun

Have you been
the critic, the mole?
That tore apart their dreams
digging deep in their soul

Have you been
the ugly one?
That excluded someone
others had shunned

Have you been
the selectively blind?
Passing by those in need
unhelpful, unkind

Have you been
the chatter?
In the minds
of those that matter



Copyrighted, 2015 by Iva



© Copyright 2015 Iva Marie (iva333 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2065883-Do-You-Feel-The-Chatter