by Sneaky Simba
Blu from "Rio" needs to use the bathroom on his trip to the Amazon.
|Blu, Jewel, and their three hatchlings had just arrived at the Amazon where they found the rest of their species: the blue macaw. Blu happened to eat a lot of food on the trip, and was feeling an urge coming along the whole way there. He couldn't however make a pit stop on the way, so when he got to the amazon with his family, his need was urgent. Jewel and the kids, however, were curious about the new land they arrived in and went exploring while Blu followed along reluctantly.|
"Jewel....I kind of need to find a place to--" Blu said, but he was cut off by Jewel.
"Oh, quit whining Blu. We have to talk to all these birds and see what we can learn about our kind!" said Jewel.
Jewel was so excited to learn more that she wasn't watching where she was flying and she ran into a much older bird.
"Hey, watch where you're going!", said the older bird.
"Ugh, same for you!" retorted Jewel.
"Hey...wait...is that you, Jewel?" asked the older bird.
"....poppop? Is that you" asked Jewel.
The two realized who the other was and embraced, happy to finally be reunited.
"Dad, this is my mate. His name is Blu." Jewel said as she pointed over to Blu. Blu, who had his wings stuffed between his legs and was hopping up and down, asked for the restroom.
"Excuse me, sir, could you point me to the little bird's room?" asked Blu.
"THIS is your MATE, Jewel?" asked Jewel's father.
"Blu", Jewel harshly whispered over to Blu, "stop making a fool of yourself."
"Sorry, Jewel, I just really have to go...BAD." answered Blu.
"Do you know where we can stay the night, father?", asked Jewel.
"Oh, sure I do. Just ask Roberto to stay at his place.", said Jewel's dad.
The family found Roberto and he introduced them to his luxurious nest. Blu was in extreme discomfort and needed to ask Roberto a question.
"Hey, Roberto. You don't suppose there's a private spot somewhere in your house for me to do my business, is there?" asked Blu nervously.
"Oh, sorry mi amigo, I'm getting my bathroom redone right now, so you're gonna have to find some place outside to do it.", said Roberto.
Blu, who could barely fly without having an accident, made his way over to a tree branch where his friends Nico and Pedro were perched.
"Hey, Blu, what's been up with you?" asked Pedro.
"Yeah. man. You've been hopping all over the place since we got here." said Nico.
"Well, that's because I've really gotta go" Blu answered nervously.
"Go where?" both of the birds asked.
"I've gotta 'answer nature's call'" said Blu inconspicuously.
"What's nature calling' YOU for, buddy?" asked Nico.
"NICO, PEDRO, I HAVE TO POOP!!!" yelled the frustrated macaw. Nearly everyone in the immediate area heard Blu's confession. Some birds groaned, while some younger birds giggled uncontrollably. Blushing furiously, Blu awaited advice.
"Blu, they've got tree branches for you to perch on behind leaves and do your duty over in that tree over there.", said Pedro.
"Oh, thank goodness", said Blu.
Blu flew over and waited for the one bird restroom that was operational. When the bird occupying it emerged, Blu saw that it was his own son, Tiago.
"Wheeeewh! Oh, hey dad!", said Tiago, "I wouldn't go in there if I were you. I had some spicy bugs yesterday."
Blu could already smell Tiago's work from where he was, but when he peeked into the bathroom, he saw a white splat below the branch that his son was perched on and decided that it was just to smelly for him to go number two there. Blu was getting to a point where he couldn't holdout anymore, and he needed to find a place to unload, and quickly. He frantically flew around and eventually found a smooth and almost artistically designed price of wood on what looked like a pedestal. What was important to his is that it was behind a large collection of leaves and would give him full privacy while he did what birds do. He flew over to the structure with anticipation and turned his tail toward the curtain.
Meanwhile, Jewel's father was leading Blu's family, friends, and a good portion of the blue macaw population over to see something he had instructed his friends to build.
"In honor of my beautiful daughter returning to her homeland, I would like to present everyone something very special. If you'll just follow me, we'll head over to where it is and pull back the curtains so you can see it in all of its glory!" said Jewel's father proudly.
Just as the group of birds arrived, Blu, with his tail still turned towards the curtain, lowered himself into a squat and lifted his tail, exposing bare bottom and butthole. While in this position, the curtain was pulled back.
"Whew, I feel a draft", said Blu as a sudden rush of air from in front of the curtain washed over his naked rear. He then proceeded to do his duty that he had been waiting so long to do. He clenched his wings and grunted as he farted loudly and shot a white splat that landed on top of the structure under his hind end. He continued to do this a couple more times, each splat adding to the smelly pile.
"Woah, I really shouldn't have waited this long. When a birds gotta go, a birds gotta go!" Blu said to himself.
It suddenly occurred to Blu that there were many gasping and giggling sounds in the air that he hadn't noticed before. He looked around him to see what all the ruckus was about, and eventually turned around to se a group of well over ninety birds who just saw him splat all over a beautiful statue of his wife. The whole crowd immediately erupted in laughter when Blu turned around. Every bird was pointing at him and could not control their laughing. Blu used his wings to cover up his behind and his mess out of embarrassment.
"BLU, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" yelled Jewel. Blu's kids couldn't contain their laughter.
"Haha!" said Tiago, "Dad had to make more number two than I did!" Nico and Pedro were there to witness Blu's "performance" as well.
"Blu!" Yelled Pedro, "I'm pretty sure that isn't a bathroom, a-haha!"
Blu flew off soon after all of the taunting took place. He knew he'd never live this one down.