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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2121623-My-first-time-writing-my-thoughts
Rated: E · Other · Death · #2121623
I tried to explain how I'm feeling in one of my down days of cyclothymia after breakup.
Times are getting harder and I'm tired of this absurd scenario, am I tired of this life?
Am I the only one whose deranged brain makes life not worth living?
Am I the only one feeling like drowning underneath miles of water?
Am I the only one feeling numb while the music shatters my ears?
My thoughts collapse on a pile of dead dreams and the things I should've done, I
could've done.

I don't need your attention I don't want your blessing,
Leave me alone you're not welcome in my soul.
I don't need this anymore.
I feel it consuming me, it's tearing me down,
The thought of loneliness
'Till the day I'm sunken forever,
Eternal silence.

It's crushing me.
I trusted you when you promised me you wont give up that easily
You got scared and left me alone with my thoughts and half my heart.
You don't know how I'm hurting while you're happily live on
I don't want to see you again.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Eternal silence for a lonely soul.

I'm not the only one but where are the others
I need someone who can understand me
I need someone who can share the pain with me
I need you
I don't know you
I'm already falling for you
I'm waiting for that sun be within my view
Clouds fading away resembling the memories you didn't take with you
The day you left me alone, a lonely soul.

You'll never understand
You can't realize
The pain
And the suffering
You managed to provoke
To a lonely soul
Already broken down.
Believing in your devilish smile
Couldn't see the risk I'm taking
Moving blindly through the storm
Believing you're the savior I've waited all along.

My hands are cold
I'm numb
I'm dumb
I believed a spoiled brat
I went forward without thinking
Thought the warmth I'm feeling would lead me to heaven
While hell's doors were slowly opening
Waiting for me,
A lonely soul,
Eternal silence.
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