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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #2142030
A satirical take on the Nuclear Crisis.

Small, white flakes meander through the air, undecided about their final destination. The entire countryside grows bit by bit, as it becomes the wonderland that children wish for on Christmas morning. The flatlands become rounded, as hills form out of nothing but white. A rabbit, as pure its surroundings, dances through the falling sky. Everything is perfect. Everything is magical. Except what falls from the sky is ash, and the rabbit has two heads.
         Since the times of the Cold War, humanity has been on the brink of destruction. A few men have the power to destroy everything. The worst part? We are not left asking if nuclear weapons will be used, but when they will be used. It is not a possibility, but an inevitability. There is no true way to disarm the world and make sure that nuclear weapons cease to exist entirely. That cat is officially out of the bag and has mutated into something monstrous. However, all hope should not be lost. There is a single way to know that our enemies will never use such destructive power against us, and destroy the world. And that is to do it ourselves. Now, the idea of actively starting a nuclear war might seem insane or inhumane, but so is the world in which we live. Sometimes an impossible problem needs an improbable, human answer. And what could be considered more human than blowing something up?
         No matter how far society progresses, there will always be the threat of nuclear annihilation looming over it. No matter how many people receive the Nobel Peace Prize, we are still moments away from destruction. Can there really be progress when everything humanity has accomplished can be rolled back in a heartbeat? The only realistic solution is to force every Nuclear Power across the world to fire their missiles. Our true reset button is not one presented to our enemies in an attempt at peace, but a different button entirely. The pinnacle of human accomplishment was reached once. It can be reached again. It might take millennia, but it will happen. It does not matter how long it will take. Maybe this new breed of post-apocalyptic humans will be better. They probably can't be worse than us.
         Humanity is a mess. Our problems are countless. War ravages the Middle East, people die of starvation less than a mile from people with unimaginable wealth, society continues to divide itself and some writers think they no longer have to use the Oxford comma. Our world is broken. What is wrong with breaking it a little more? Let us do what humans are best at. Let us shirk the responsibility of fixing our problems and put that task on some future civilization's shoulders. Let us reset the world so that a better society can create a civilization without the problems we have, a civilization where nuclear weapons never even have to exist. And what happens if they follow the same path that we did? Hopefully they have the same forethought we did and annihilate the world once again.
         The best part of this plan is that it is politically solvent. After all, global warming would no longer be a concern when we no longer have to worry about slowly changing the world's ecosystems for the worse when most will be destroyed at once. Half of the political spectrum will instantly jump on board because of that fact alone. And when it is explained to the rest that most guns won't survive Nuclear war, and the rest will be rendered unusable shortly thereafter, they won't give it a second thought. Politicians will line up to give their support for Nuclear War.
Maybe irrevocably changing the entire world's ecosystem might be just what it needs. Let evolution have a fresh and unique canvas on which to work. What new and amazing creatures will come out of our now radiation infused world? This is a new and exciting opportunity to see what the world has to offer.
The only true assurance that that no power-hungry despot or illiterate button-pusher will end civilization is to do it ourselves. Then, we might have at least some control of the outcome. It is possible that we could create places where humanity can begin again, and, hopefully, never create the threats that we have created for ourselves. And if they do, let the cycle repeat itself once again. Let us not fear our own certain death through radiation poisoning or nuclear winter. Let us go happily into that abyss and ski through the coming storm, to a happier and more peaceful world.
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