When you love someone who doesn't love you
|Unrequited Love. |
(of a feeling, especially love) not returned.
“But I love you!” She cries, as tears trickle down her face, slowly, but agonizingly. She allows them to roll. Maybe he’ll realise the excruciating pain responsible for these falling tears. But his expression remains stoic. He doesn’t flinch as she emphasises her pain, as he watches each tear fall. Drip, drip, drip.
“I just don’t love you,” He replies, a cold edge to his voice. With the same stoic expression, he swivels on his heels, and leaves. Not even a second glance is casted back in her direction. Any feeling of sympathy or sorrow for the breaking girl crying behind his back is nonexistent. She watches every muscle in his back move as he leaves. It reminds her of the days she’d be walking beside him, their hands intertwined, their eyes filled with love as they looked at eachother, dreamy looks plastered on their face. His eyes were as rich as the earth’s soil, her’s as beautiful as the deepest of oceans. Together, they loved. Alone, she loves.
When you love someone who doesn’t love you back, it’s suffocating. It’s suffocating because everything else that used to matter doesn’t matter anymore- everything revolves around your unrequited love. It swallows up your whole existence, and you’re left empty. Alone. Lifeless. What’s left of you is grief. Despair. Pain. You couldn’t bare to envision this life without him, but now you have to survive it. You expressed your biggest fear to him as your foreheads rested upon each other and you cried your soul out.
“I just don’t want to lose you,” you had said, “I don’t want to finish this journey of life without you.”
“You won’t” he reassured, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close, “I’m never going anywhere. Forever and always.”
His words were luring. Luring you into a venomous trap. A gentle tone to his voice, a genuine look clouding his eyes, it seemed the only thing to believe. Mesmerised by his chocolate brown eyes, the entire world disappeared. It was you, and it was him. Together. Supposedly forever.
But then it crashed and burned.
He didn’t love you anymore. Did he ever? Why did he leave? Where did I go wrong? Am I not good enough? Questions. They circle your mind as your reflection stares back at you. It’s frightening. Purple bags underline your eyes, accentuating your sleep deprivation. Drained of it’s colour, your face shows no emotion. Being hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t love you does that to you. It sucks the life out of you. Because you should hate them. You should hate their guts for walking away like they did. You should hate them because they didn’t treat you the way you deserved it. You should hate them because they used you like a toy, and once they were bored, they threw you away. But you don’t. Instead you can hear his laugh ringing in your ears and you fall in love all over again. You imagine his bright smile, his gleaming eyes, and you can’t forget it. His smile is your weakness. It will always override any hatred you feel towards him. The things you feel, you feel from the bottom of your stomach. Everything aches up your entire body when you love someone who does not love you. When you’re sitting on the floor, clutching your stomach and gasping for breath as you cry, full body rack sobs, it hurts. It pains you. Your whole life has diminished into a series of portraying strength but feeling pain. You’re lifeless.
And it was all because you loved someone who didn’t love you.
An unrequited love.