Sweet Child O' Mine

I don't want to say, “ I'm poor or unfortunate.” because it's never felt that way. I have always had a roof over my head, food on the table, and my family with me. Today was different though, I went to the dentist and they told us how much the procedure would be. I have an extra tooth and it's close to the nerve, which isn't as simple as taking out the wisdom teeth. It would be a total of $1000 if we did the procedure that same day. It felt like such a small amount of money to me. My dad said he couldn't today. He only had money to pay for the cleaning. That's not the problem. He told me that he hadn't been working since December. He told me he had to borrow money for rent. The reason why we didn't have power last week wasn't because of all the thunderstorms, but because he didn't pay on time. He told me that mom was accepting food from a local church. I didn't cry then.. I was still trying to process everything. Thankfully the dentist was generous and offered to keep the deal until April. I thought that was great and it gave us some time to gather the money. I told my mom once we got home. She believes that taking out the wisdom teeth is unnecessary. The way she said it made me feel like a burden. Knowing now how bad our situation is $1000 IS a fucking burden. I wish I could help somehow but I'm just a child.
I not from here. I couldn't apply for DACA, a program that helps undocumented children. Even if I had applied and gotten accepted, today I would be in a limbo. The program has been basically shut down. I want to find a job someday but its hard. I don't have a SSN (social security number). I worry a lot about my future and if I apply to a University, getting financial aid isn't an option. I wanted to joint the military but you have to be a US citizen. There is so much I want for myself and it will be hard to accomplish such things. I thought that once I graduate high school I could move back to my country. Trust me when I say “ I'm grateful for the sacrifices my parents made.” but sometimes I wish they never brought me here. If I think about this subject too much I always end up being a little bit jealous of my siblings. They were born here and don't have to
worry about this. They don't have to feel like they don't belong here in the US or their own birthplace. That's what I think
about sometimes. I've lived here since I was 2 years old and I'm not American. If I were to go back to my country I would be missing the culture. I wouldn't belong there either .. I'd be a foreigner to my own land. I accept that I AM a burden and I'm only just a child.